Friday, January 23, 2009
rude girl TUYO got BOOed in the Sinulog Festival in Cebu
Marian Rivera NAPAHIYA sa SINULOG 2009, BOO from the PEOPLE
PhilippineTVnews of youtube
January 20, 2009
my piece of thought:
how rude is this girl? she's on a JAG float but se waved the kapuso flaglet. her co-endorser will devaughn is a kapamilya but did not wave a kapamilya flag. unethical that she is, she hasn't even realized that the land she is parading in is a kapamilya county. no wonder she got BOOed! BOOhoo beeatch! bleeh!
Thursday, January 22, 2009
Obama takes presidential oath again after stumble
Getty
Wed Jan 21, 10:42 PM ET
Chief Justice John G. Roberts Jr. administers the oath of office to President Barack Obama a second time in the Map Room of the White House January 21, 2009 in Washington, DC. Today was the president's first full day in office.
(Pete Souza/The White House via Getty Images)
Obama takes presidential oath again after stumble
Wed Jan 21, 9:24 pm ET
WASHINGTON – After the flub heard around the world, President Barack Obama has taken the oath of office. Again. Chief Justice John Roberts delivered the oath to Obama on Wednesday night at the White House — a rare do-over. The surprise moment came in response to Tuesday's much-noticed stumble, when Roberts got the words of the oath a little off, which prompted Obama to do so, too.
Don't worry, the White House says: Obama has still been president since noon on Inauguration Day.
Nevertheless, Obama and Roberts went through the drill again out of what White House counsel Greg Craig called "an abundance of caution."
This time, the scene was the White House Map Room in front of a small group of reporters, not the Capitol platform before the whole watching world.
"We decided that because it was so much fun ...," Obama joked to reporters who followed press secretary Robert Gibbs into the room. No TV camera crews or news photographers were allowed in. A few of Obama's closest aides were there, along with a White House photographer.
Roberts put on his black robe.
"Are you ready to take the oath?" he said.
"Yes, I am," Obama said. "And we're going to do it very slowly."
Roberts then led Obama through the oath without any missteps.
The president said he did not have his Bible with him, but that the oath was binding anyway.
The original, bungled version on Tuesday caught observers by surprise and then got replayed on cable news shows.
It happened when Obama interrupted Roberts midway through the opening line, in which the president repeats his name and solemnly swears.
Next in the oath is the phrase " ... that I will faithfully execute the office of president of the United States." But Roberts rearranged the order of the words, not saying "faithfully" until after "president of the United States."
That appeared to throw Obama off. He stopped abruptly at the word "execute."
Recognizing something was off, Roberts then repeated the phrase, putting "faithfully" in the right place but without repeating "execute."
But Obama then repeated Roberts' original, incorrect version: "... the office of president of the United States faithfully."
Craig, the White House lawyer, said in a statement Wednesday evening: "We believe the oath of office was administered effectively and that the president was sworn in appropriately yesterday. Yet the oath appears in the Constitution itself. And out of the abundance of caution, because there was one word out of sequence, Chief Justice John Roberts will administer the oath a second time."
The Constitution is clear about the exact wording of the oath and as a result, some constitutional experts have said that a do-over probably wasn't necessary but also couldn't hurt. Two other previous presidents have repeated the oath because of similar issues, Calvin Coolidge and Chester A. Arthur.
__
Associated Press writer Phil Elliott contributed to this report.
Wednesday, January 21, 2009
Text of President Barack Obama's inaugural address (Associated Press)
Barack Obama takes the oath of office to become the 44th president of the United States in Washington, Tuesday, Jan. 20, 2009.
(AP Photo/Robert Glass)
Text of President Barack Obama's inaugural address
By The Associated Press
Text of President Barack Obama's inaugural address on Tuesday, as prepared for delivery and released by the Presidential Inaugural Committee.
OBAMA: My fellow citizens:
I stand here today humbled by the task before us, grateful for the trust you have bestowed, mindful of the sacrifices borne by our ancestors. I thank President Bush for his service to our nation, as well as the generosity and cooperation he has shown throughout this transition.
Forty-four Americans have now taken the presidential oath. The words have been spoken during rising tides of prosperity and the still waters of peace. Yet, every so often the oath is taken amidst gathering clouds and raging storms. At these moments, America has carried on not simply because of the skill or vision of those in high office, but because we the people have remained faithful to the ideals of our forebears, and true to our founding documents.
So it has been. So it must be with this generation of Americans.
That we are in the midst of crisis is now well understood. Our nation is at war, against a far-reaching network of violence and hatred. Our economy is badly weakened, a consequence of greed and irresponsibility on the part of some, but also our collective failure to make hard choices and prepare the nation for a new age. Homes have been lost; jobs shed; businesses shuttered. Our health care is too costly; our schools fail too many; and each day brings further evidence that the ways we use energy strengthen our adversaries and threaten our planet.
These are the indicators of crisis, subject to data and statistics. Less measurable but no less profound is a sapping of confidence across our land — a nagging fear that America's decline is inevitable, and that the next generation must lower its sights.
Today I say to you that the challenges we face are real. They are serious and they are many. They will not be met easily or in a short span of time. But know this, America — they will be met.
On this day, we gather because we have chosen hope over fear, unity of purpose over conflict and discord.
On this day, we come to proclaim an end to the petty grievances and false promises, the recriminations and worn out dogmas, that for far too long have strangled our politics.
We remain a young nation, but in the words of Scripture, the time has come to set aside childish things. The time has come to reaffirm our enduring spirit; to choose our better history; to carry forward that precious gift, that noble idea, passed on from generation to generation: the God-given promise that all are equal, all are free and all deserve a chance to pursue their full measure of happiness.
In reaffirming the greatness of our nation, we understand that greatness is never a given. It must be earned. Our journey has never been one of shortcuts or settling for less. It has not been the path for the faint-hearted — for those who prefer leisure over work, or seek only the pleasures of riches and fame. Rather, it has been the risk-takers, the doers, the makers of things — some celebrated but more often men and women obscure in their labor, who have carried us up the long, rugged path towards prosperity and freedom.
For us, they packed up their few worldly possessions and traveled across oceans in search of a new life.
For us, they toiled in sweatshops and settled the West; endured the lash of the whip and plowed the hard earth.
For us, they fought and died, in places like Concord and Gettysburg; Normandy and Khe Sahn.
Time and again these men and women struggled and sacrificed and worked till their hands were raw so that we might live a better life. They saw America as bigger than the sum of our individual ambitions; greater than all the differences of birth or wealth or faction.
This is the journey we continue today. We remain the most prosperous, powerful nation on Earth. Our workers are no less productive than when this crisis began. Our minds are no less inventive, our goods and services no less needed than they were last week or last month or last year. Our capacity remains undiminished. But our time of standing pat, of protecting narrow interests and putting off unpleasant decisions — that time has surely passed. Starting today, we must pick ourselves up, dust ourselves off, and begin again the work of remaking America.
For everywhere we look, there is work to be done. The state of the economy calls for action, bold and swift, and we will act — not only to create new jobs, but to lay a new foundation for growth. We will build the roads and bridges, the electric grids and digital lines that feed our commerce and bind us together. We will restore science to its rightful place, and wield technology's wonders to raise health care's quality and lower its cost. We will harness the sun and the winds and the soil to fuel our cars and run our factories. And we will transform our schools and colleges and universities to meet the demands of a new age. All this we can do. All this we will do.
Now, there are some who question the scale of our ambitions — who suggest that our system cannot tolerate too many big plans. Their memories are short. For they have forgotten what this country has already done; what free men and women can achieve when imagination is joined to common purpose, and necessity to courage.
What the cynics fail to understand is that the ground has shifted beneath them — that the stale political arguments that have consumed us for so long no longer apply. The question we ask today is not whether our government is too big or too small, but whether it works — whether it helps families find jobs at a decent wage, care they can afford, a retirement that is dignified. Where the answer is yes, we intend to move forward. Where the answer is no, programs will end. Those of us who manage the public's dollars will be held to account — to spend wisely, reform bad habits, and do our business in the light of day — because only then can we restore the vital trust between a people and their government.
Nor is the question before us whether the market is a force for good or ill. Its power to generate wealth and expand freedom is unmatched, but this crisis has reminded us that without a watchful eye, the market can spin out of control — and that a nation cannot prosper long when it favors only the prosperous. The success of our economy has always depended not just on the size of our gross domestic product, but on the reach of our prosperity; on our ability to extend opportunity to every willing heart — not out of charity, but because it is the surest route to our common good.
As for our common defense, we reject as false the choice between our safety and our ideals. Our founding fathers ... our found fathers, faced with perils we can scarcely imagine, drafted a charter to assure the rule of law and the rights of man, a charter expanded by the blood of generations. Those ideals still light the world, and we will not give them up for expedience's sake. And so to all the other peoples and governments who are watching today, from the grandest capitals to the small village where my father was born: know that America is a friend of each nation and every man, woman, and child who seeks a future of peace and dignity, and that we are ready to lead once more.
Recall that earlier generations faced down fascism and communism not just with missiles and tanks, but with sturdy alliances and enduring convictions. They understood that our power alone cannot protect us, nor does it entitle us to do as we please. Instead, they knew that our power grows through its prudent use; our security emanates from the justness of our cause, the force of our example, the tempering qualities of humility and restraint.
We are the keepers of this legacy. Guided by these principles once more, we can meet those new threats that demand even greater effort — even greater cooperation and understanding between nations. We will begin to responsibly leave Iraq to its people, and forge a hard-earned peace in Afghanistan. With old friends and former foes, we will work tirelessly to lessen the nuclear threat, and roll back the specter of a warming planet. We will not apologize for our way of life, nor will we waver in its defense, and for those who seek to advance their aims by inducing terror and slaughtering innocents, we say to you now that our spirit is stronger and cannot be broken; you cannot outlast us, and we will defeat you.
For we know that our patchwork heritage is a strength, not a weakness. We are a nation of Christians and Muslims, Jews and Hindus — and non-believers. We are shaped by every language and culture, drawn from every end of this Earth; and because we have tasted the bitter swill of civil war and segregation, and emerged from that dark chapter stronger and more united, we cannot help but believe that the old hatreds shall someday pass; that the lines of tribe shall soon dissolve; that as the world grows smaller, our common humanity shall reveal itself; and that America must play its role in ushering in a new era of peace.
To the Muslim world, we seek a new way forward, based on mutual interest and mutual respect. To those leaders around the globe who seek to sow conflict, or blame their society's ills on the West — know that your people will judge you on what you can build, not what you destroy. To those who cling to power through corruption and deceit and the silencing of dissent, know that you are on the wrong side of history; but that we will extend a hand if you are willing to unclench your fist.
To the people of poor nations, we pledge to work alongside you to make your farms flourish and let clean waters flow; to nourish starved bodies and feed hungry minds. And to those nations like ours that enjoy relative plenty, we say we can no longer afford indifference to the suffering outside our borders; nor can we consume the world's resources without regard to effect. For the world has changed, and we must change with it.
As we consider the road that unfolds before us, we remember with humble gratitude those brave Americans who, at this very hour, patrol far-off deserts and distant mountains. They have something to tell us, just as the fallen heroes who lie in Arlington whisper through the ages. We honor them not only because they are guardians of our liberty, but because they embody the spirit of service; a willingness to find meaning in something greater than themselves. And yet, at this moment — a moment that will define a generation — it is precisely this spirit that must inhabit us all.
For as much as government can do and must do, it is ultimately the faith and determination of the American people upon which this nation relies. It is the kindness to take in a stranger when the levees break, the selflessness of workers who would rather cut their hours than see a friend lose their job which sees us through our darkest hours. It is the firefighter's courage to storm a stairway filled with smoke, but also a parent's willingness to nurture a child, that finally decides our fate.
Our challenges may be new. The instruments with which we meet them may be new. But those values upon which our success depends — hard work and honesty, courage and fair play, tolerance and curiosity, loyalty and patriotism — these things are old. These things are true. They have been the quiet force of progress throughout our history. What is demanded then is a return to these truths. What is required of us now is a new era of responsibility — a recognition, on the part of every American, that we have duties to ourselves, our nation, and the world, duties that we do not grudgingly accept but rather seize gladly, firm in the knowledge that there is nothing so satisfying to the spirit, so defining of our character, than giving our all to a difficult task.
This is the price and the promise of citizenship.
This is the source of our confidence — the knowledge that God calls on us to shape an uncertain destiny.
This is the meaning of our liberty and our creed — why men and women and children of every race and every faith can join in celebration across this magnificent Mall, and why a man whose father less than sixty years ago might not have been served at a local restaurant can now stand before you to take a most sacred oath.
So let us mark this day with remembrance, of who we are and how far we have traveled. In the year of America's birth, in the coldest of months, a small band of patriots huddled by dying campfires on the shores of an icy river. The capital was abandoned. The enemy was advancing. The snow was stained with blood. At a moment when the outcome of our revolution was most in doubt, the father of our nation ordered these words be read to the people:
"Let it be told to the future world ... that in the depth of winter, when nothing but hope and virtue could survive...that the city and the country, alarmed at one common danger, came forth to meet (it)."
America, in the face of our common dangers, in this winter of our hardship, let us remember these timeless words. With hope and virtue, let us brave once more the icy currents, and endure what storms may come. Let it be said by our children's children that when we were tested we refused to let this journey end, that we did not turn back nor did we falter; and with eyes fixed on the horizon and God's grace upon us, we carried forth that great gift of freedom and delivered it safely to future generations.
Thank you. God bless you. And God bless the United States of America.
Friday, January 16, 2009
The Perfect Bacon Mac 'n' Cheese Dinner
The Perfect Bacon Mac 'n' Cheese Dinner
Posted Wed, Sep 03, 2008, 4:12 pm PDT
I was just visiting my sisters and their kids in Sweden. Whenever I'm there, my nieces and nephews want to hear about what's going on in America -- the fashions, the music, and the latest movies.
Normally, I make them hamburgers, but on this visit, I decided that I'd introduce them to some new authentic American food. I whipped up a killer batch of macaroni and cheese, and all the kids -- ranging in age from 5-18 -- loved it.
Try it for your own kids -- or even a special grown up.
Marcus's Mac and Cheese
salt
1 pound uncooked macaroni
6 slices bacon, chopped
3 garlic cloves
1 red onion, chopped
1 1/2 cups cream
3 cups water
1 cup shredded cheddar cheese
2 egg yolks
butter for greasing the pan
breadcrumbs
1 cup grated Parmesan cheese
1. Preheat the oven to 350 degrees F.
2. Bring a large pot of salted water to a boil. Add the macaroni and cook until al dente. Drain and set aside.
3. Heat a medium skillet over medium heat. Add the bacon and cook until really crispy, about 15 minutes. Remove with a slotted spoon and set to the side on paper towels to drain. Reserve the fat in the pan.
4. Return the pan to medium heat and add the garlic and onions. Cook until the garlic is golden and the onions are translucent. Remove the garlic and onions with a slotted spoon and set in a bowl to the side.
5. Combine the cream and water in a medium saucepan and bring to a simmer. Remove from heat and stir in the cheddar cheese. Stir until melted. Beat in the egg yolks.
6. Butter an 8x8 baking dish and sprinkle with breadcrumbs. Stir the cheese sauce into the cooked macaroni and combine well. Mix in the bacon, garlic, and onions. Transfer to the prepared baking dish and sprinkle with the Parmesan cheese. Bake until hot and bubbly, about 15 minutes.
Delicious French Potato Latkes
Delicious French Potato Latkes
Posted Tue, Dec 23, 2008, 5:45 pm PST
My favorite thing to do on a Sunday morning in Paris is to visit the Boulevard Raspail organic farmer's market. The potato pancake vendor there makes the most delicious potato pancakes, using French Comte cheese, which holds the shredded potatoes together. Comte is like Swiss cheese, with a subtle, nutty flavor. If you can't find Comte for this recipe (which should be available at most gourmet cheese departments of grocery stores), substitute shredded Swiss or Gruyere. This recipe is a special twist on more traditional potato latkes served for Channukah. I always like applesauce as an accompaniment. Enjoy!
Parisian-Style Potato Latkes
(serves 6)
2 pounds potatoes (Russet or Yukon Gold)
1 medium-size onion
1 egg, beaten
1/2 teaspoon salt
1 cup shredded French Comte cheese (Gruyere or Swiss)
Vegetable oil for frying
1. Peel the potatoes and shred in a food processor or with a hand grater.
2. Place the shredded potatoes over a fine mesh strainer or a double layer of cheesecloth. Over a medium-size bowl, squeeze as much water as possible from the potatoes. Let the potato water settle in the bowl for a few minutes. Then pour off the potato water, but keep the potato starch that will settle on the bottom.
3. Grate the onion.
4. Add the shredded potatoes, grated onion, beaten egg, and salt to the bowl with the residual potato starch.
5. Heat a griddle or frying pan and add enough oil to coat the bottom. Drop 1 heaping tablespoon for small pancakes or 2 heaping tablespoons for larger pancakes, onto the surface. Flatten each pancake as much as possible (leave room in the pan to do so). Fry the pancakes until they turn a deep golden brown on the bottom. Then flip them over and fry on the other side. Repeat and add more vegetable oil as needed.
6. The pancakes are best served right away. You can also make them in advance. Keep them in the refrigerator and later reheat on baking sheets at 350 degrees.
French Fries and Spicy Salsa
Today's Fusion Cooking: French Fries and Spicy Salsa
Posted Fri, Aug 17, 2007, 6:32 pm PDT
Fusion was the big buzz word in food in the '90s, but it's actually been around for much much longer. In fact, founding father Thomas Jefferson was also a founder of American fusion cuisine. Jefferson became smitten with French cooking while he was the American ambassador in Paris. He loved it so much that when he returned to Virginia, he brought a French chef with him to serve his guests ice cream, peach flambé, macaroons, and other Continental delights. But he also loved Southern cooking, so he had two young girls working in the kitchen with his classically trained chef to incorporate elements of American food into the menus -- like using peanuts in sauces, a tradition that harkens back to the West African cooking that is at the soul of Southern cooking.
Jefferson was one of the first to serve French fries in America. Today, I share with you my recipe for French fries, which takes fusion one step further to incorporate yet another culture -- in place of the standard accompaniment of ketchup, I like my fries with a spicy salsa. Enjoy!
Fries with Salsa
4 servings
3 Idaho potatoes, cut lengthwise into 1/4-inch pieces
3 cups grapeseed oil
1 tablespoon chopped parsley
1/2 teaspoon salt
1/2 teaspoon mild chili powder
1 teaspoon smoked paprika
1 teaspoon cornstarch
2 tablespoons chickpea flour
Salsa
Rinse the potatoes under cold running water for 20 minutes. Strain and pat dry.
Combine the cornstarch and chickpea flour in a large bowl. Add the potatoes and toss to coat.
Heat the oil in a Dutch over or other large pot to 350 degrees F. Working in batches to avoid overcrowding, add the potatoes and fry until golden and cooked through, about 5 minutes. Remove from oil and toss with parsley, salt, chili powder, and paprika. Serve with salsa.
Grilled Tomato Salsa
6 tomatoes, divided
2 red chili pepper
1 red pepper
2 cloves garlic
3/4 cup olive oil
Juice from 2 limes
2 anchovies, finely chopped
2 scallions, finely chopped
1 tablespoon chopped cilantro
1 tablespoon chopped parsley
Black pepper and salt
Preheat the oven to 450 degrees F.
Brush 3 of the tomatoes, the chilies, the red pepper, and the garlic with the olive oil and spread in a single layer on a sheet pan. Roast for 12 minutes, then remove from oven. When cooked enough to handle, roughly chop.
Chop the remaining tomatoes into a fine dice. Toss in a large bowl with the lime juice, anchovy, scallion, and cilantro. Add the roasted vegetables and parsley. Season with salt and pepper.
Thursday, January 15, 2009
VOTE FOR PAELO!
please vote for my friend paelo's entry to Lee's Make History Photo Contest. Click on the link to his multiply site for details.
http://entropicmind.multiply.com/photos/album/271/My_Lee_Make_History_Entry
RIGHT TO MUSIC
freedom of expression. Just express your soul.
http://entropicmind.multiply.com/photos/album/271/My_Lee_Make_History_Entry
RIGHT TO MUSIC
freedom of expression. Just express your soul.
Forrest Gump Meets St. Peter
The day finally arrived; Forrest Gump dies and goes to Heaven. He is at the Pearly Gates, met by St. Peter himself. However, the gates are closed and Forrest approaches the Gatekeeper. St. Peter says, "Well, Forrest, it's certainly good to see you. We have heard a lot about you. I must tell you, though, that the place is filling up fast, and we've been administering an entrance examination for everyone. The test is short, but you have to pass it before you can get into Heaven"
Forrest responds, "It shor is good to be here , St. Peter, sir. But nobody ever tolt me about any entrance exam. Shor hope the test ain't too hard; life was a big enough test as it was."
St. Peter goes on, "Yes, I know, Forrest, but the test is only three
questions.
First: What two days of the week begin with the letter T?
Second: How many seconds are there in a year?
Third: What is God's first name?"
Forrest leaves to think the questions over. He returns the next day and sees St. Peter who waves him up and says, "Now that you have had a chance to think the questions over, tell me your answers."
Forrest says, "Well, the first one -- which two days in the week begin with the letter "T"? Shucks, that one's easy. That'd be Today and Tomorrow.
The Saint's eyes open wide and he exclaims, "Forrest, that's not what I was thinking, but you do have a point, and I guess I didn't specify, so I'll give you credit for that answer. How about the next one?" asks St. Peter.
"How many seconds in a year?"
"Now that one's harder," says Forrest, "but I thunk and thunk about that a nod I guess the only answer can be twelve." Astounded, St. Peter says, "Twelve? Twelve!? Forrest, how in Heaven's name could you come up with twelve seconds in a year?"
Forrest says "Shucks, there's gotta be twelve: January 2nd, February 2nd, March 2nd.."
"Hold it, " interrupts St. Peter. "I see where you're going with this, and I see your point, though that wasn't quite what I had in mind. But I'll have to give you credit for that one, too.
Let's go on with the third and final question. Can you tell me God's first name"? "Sure" Forrest replied, "its Andy." "Andy?!" exclaimed an exasperated and frustrated St. Peter. "OK, I can understand how you came up with your answers to my first two questions, but just how in the world did you come up with the name Andy as the first name of God?"
"Shucks, that was the easiest one of all," Forrest replied. "I learnt it from the song. . "ANDY WALKS WITH ME, ANDY TALKS WITH ME, ANDY TELLS ME I AM HIS OWN. . . "
St. Peter opened the Pearly Gates and said: "Run Forrest, run."
Forrest responds, "It shor is good to be here , St. Peter, sir. But nobody ever tolt me about any entrance exam. Shor hope the test ain't too hard; life was a big enough test as it was."
St. Peter goes on, "Yes, I know, Forrest, but the test is only three
questions.
First: What two days of the week begin with the letter T?
Second: How many seconds are there in a year?
Third: What is God's first name?"
Forrest leaves to think the questions over. He returns the next day and sees St. Peter who waves him up and says, "Now that you have had a chance to think the questions over, tell me your answers."
Forrest says, "Well, the first one -- which two days in the week begin with the letter "T"? Shucks, that one's easy. That'd be Today and Tomorrow.
The Saint's eyes open wide and he exclaims, "Forrest, that's not what I was thinking, but you do have a point, and I guess I didn't specify, so I'll give you credit for that answer. How about the next one?" asks St. Peter.
"How many seconds in a year?"
"Now that one's harder," says Forrest, "but I thunk and thunk about that a nod I guess the only answer can be twelve." Astounded, St. Peter says, "Twelve? Twelve!? Forrest, how in Heaven's name could you come up with twelve seconds in a year?"
Forrest says "Shucks, there's gotta be twelve: January 2nd, February 2nd, March 2nd.."
"Hold it, " interrupts St. Peter. "I see where you're going with this, and I see your point, though that wasn't quite what I had in mind. But I'll have to give you credit for that one, too.
Let's go on with the third and final question. Can you tell me God's first name"? "Sure" Forrest replied, "its Andy." "Andy?!" exclaimed an exasperated and frustrated St. Peter. "OK, I can understand how you came up with your answers to my first two questions, but just how in the world did you come up with the name Andy as the first name of God?"
"Shucks, that was the easiest one of all," Forrest replied. "I learnt it from the song. . "ANDY WALKS WITH ME, ANDY TALKS WITH ME, ANDY TELLS ME I AM HIS OWN. . . "
St. Peter opened the Pearly Gates and said: "Run Forrest, run."
Wednesday, January 14, 2009
Penne alla Norma
Legend has it that this recipe was created as a tribute to the opera "Norma"; composed by Vincenzo Bellini, who was from Sicily, where this dish originated.
Note: Crushed red pepper adds spice to this dish. Vary the amount according to taste.
Prep: 20 minutes
Total: 20 minutes
Ingredients:
1 pound penne rigate
Coarse salt and ground pepper
4 tablespoons olive oil
1 medium onion, halved and thinly sliced
4 garlic cloves, thinly sliced
1/4 teaspoon crushed red pepper
1 large eggplant, cut into 3/4-inch chunks
1 1/2 pounds plum tomatoes, cored and cut into 1/2-inch chunks
2 tablespoons tomato paste
1/2 cup torn fresh basil, plus more for garnish
3/4 cup ricotta cheese
Directions:
Cook pasta in a large pot of boiling salted water until al dente, according to package instructions. Drain pasta; return to pot.
Heat oil in a large skillet over medium heat. Add onion, garlic, and crushed red pepper; cook, stirring, until softened, about 5 minutes.
Add eggplant to skillet; season generously with salt and pepper. Cover, and cook until eggplant begins to release juices, about 5 minutes. Uncover; cook, stirring, until tender, 3 to 4 minutes (if bottom of pan browns too much, add a few tablespoons water, and scrape with spoon).
Add tomatoes, tomato paste, and 1/4 cup water to skillet; cook, stirring, until softened, about 5 minutes.
Toss sauce and basil with pasta; gently reheat if necessary. Top each serving with a spoonful of ricotta, and garnish with more basil.
Macaroni and Cheese
Ingredients:
Coarse salt and ground pepper
1 pound elbow pasta, cooked and drained
4 tablespoons butter
1 small onion, chopped
1/4 cup all-purpose flour, (spooned and leveled)
4 cups milk
1/8 teaspoon cayenne pepper, (optional)
1 1/4 cups shredded yellow cheddar cheese (5 ounces)
1 1/4 cups shredded white cheddar cheese (5 ounces)
8 ounces ham, diced into 1/2-inch pieces
2 slices white sandwich bread
Directions:
Preheat oven to 375 degrees. Cook pasta, and drain; reserve. Meanwhile, in a 5-quart heavy pot, melt butter over medium heat. Add onion; cook, stirring occasionally, until softened, 3 to 5 minutes. Whisk in flour to coat onion. In a slow steady stream, whisk in milk until there are no lumps.
Cook, whisking often, until mixture is thick and bubbly and coats the back of a wooden spoon, 6 to 8 minutes. Stir in cayenne, if using, and 1 cup each yellow and white cheddar cheese. Season with 1 teaspoon salt and 1/4 teaspoon pepper.
Toss pasta with cheese mixture; fold in ham. Transfer to a 9-by-13-inch baking dish or individual dishes. Set aside.
In a food processor, pulse bread until large crumbs form. Toss together with remaining 1/4 cup each white and yellow cheddar, and 1/4 teaspoon salt. Top pasta with breadcrumb mixture. Bake until top is golden, about 30 minutes.
Note: This recipe makes enough to fill eight 12-to-16-ounce baking dishes. Divide the macaroni and cheese evenly, sprinkle with topping, and bake for 15 to 20 minutes, until golden.
Yema Balls
Ingredients:
3 egg yolks
180 g condensed milk
120 g mashed potato
1 tablespoon plain flour
1 teaspoon vanilla essence
1 tablespoon butter
1/8 teaspoon salt
Sugar Glaze:
100 g sugar
60 ml water
1/8 teaspoon cream of tartar
Directions:
Combine all the ingredients and cook in a double boiler, stirring frequently, until the mixture thickens - about 15 minutes. Set aside to cool (may be refrigerated for 30 minutes to 1 hour) and roll into 2.5 cm diameter balls. For the sugar glaze, combine the ingredients in a saucepan and bring to a boil. Cook until syrup is lightly caramelized. Dip the Yema balls into the syrup and set aside to cool before wrapping in colored cellophane paper
Mango Chocolate Cream Cups
Ingredients:
300 g bittersweet chocolate melted
6 med ripe mangoes peeled
2 tbsps lime juice
1 170 g-can Nestle Cream
1 tbsps unflavored gelatin dissolved in
1/4 cup gold water
mint leaves for garnish
Directions:
Line muffin tins with corrugated paper cups. Spoon 1-1/2 tbsps melted chocolate around base and sides. Allow to set in refrigerator.
Puree mangoes, lime juice and cream. Soften gelatin and heat until dissolved; whisk into mango mixture. Spoon into set chocolate cups. Chill overnight until firm. Garnish with mint leaves if desired.
300 g bittersweet chocolate melted
6 med ripe mangoes peeled
2 tbsps lime juice
1 170 g-can Nestle Cream
1 tbsps unflavored gelatin dissolved in
1/4 cup gold water
mint leaves for garnish
Directions:
Line muffin tins with corrugated paper cups. Spoon 1-1/2 tbsps melted chocolate around base and sides. Allow to set in refrigerator.
Puree mangoes, lime juice and cream. Soften gelatin and heat until dissolved; whisk into mango mixture. Spoon into set chocolate cups. Chill overnight until firm. Garnish with mint leaves if desired.
Mango Cream Cake Recipe
1/2 cup butter
1/2-3/4 cup sugar, depending how sweet u want it
1/2-3/4 cup powdered milk
1 (170 g) container cream
2-3 big ripe mangoes, 2 chopped and 1 sliced,for garnish
24 lady fingers (not the ones from live ladies)
maraschino cherry, if desired
1. Blend the first 5 ingredients (except mango slices) to make mango cream mixture.
2. Lay lady fingers on a 9x9 inch dish or pan.
3. Top with mango cream mixture.
4. Lay second layers of ladyfingers.
5. Repeat process.
6. Garnish with mango slices and cherries.
7. Refrigerate for 5-6 hours or overnight to set.
1/2-3/4 cup sugar, depending how sweet u want it
1/2-3/4 cup powdered milk
1 (170 g) container cream
2-3 big ripe mangoes, 2 chopped and 1 sliced,for garnish
24 lady fingers (not the ones from live ladies)
maraschino cherry, if desired
1. Blend the first 5 ingredients (except mango slices) to make mango cream mixture.
2. Lay lady fingers on a 9x9 inch dish or pan.
3. Top with mango cream mixture.
4. Lay second layers of ladyfingers.
5. Repeat process.
6. Garnish with mango slices and cherries.
7. Refrigerate for 5-6 hours or overnight to set.
choices
John is the kind of guy you love to hate. He is
Always in a good mood and always has something
positive to say. When someone would ask him how he was doing, he would
reply, "If I were any better, I would be twins!"
He was a natural motivator.
If an employee was having a bad day, John was
there telling the employee how to look on the positive side of the
situation.
Seeing this style really made me curious, so one
day I went up and asked him, "I don't get it!
You can't be a positive person all of the time.
How do you do it?"
He replied, "Each morning I wake up
And say to myself, you have two choices today.
You can choose to be in a good mood or ... You can choose to be in a bad
mood.
I choose to be in a good mood."
Each time something bad happens, I can choose to
be a victim or...I can choose to learn from it. I choose to learn from
it.
Every time someone comes to me complaining, I
can choose to accept their complaining or... I can point out the
positive side of life. I choose the positive side of life.
"Yeah, right, it's not that easy," I protested.
"Yes, it is," he said. "Life is all about
choices. When you cut away all the junk, every situation is a choice.
You choose how you react to situations. You choose how people affect
your mood.
You choose to be in a good mood or bad mood. The
bottom line: It's your choice how you live your life."
I reflected on what he said. Soon hereafter, I
left the Tower Industry to start my own business. We lost touch, but I
often thought about him when I made a choice about life instead of
reacting to it.
Several years
Later, I heard that he was involved in a serious
accident, falling some 60 feet from a communications tower.
After 18 hours of surgery and weeks of intensive
care, he was released from the hospital with rods placed in his back.
I saw him
About six months after the accident.
!
When I asked him how he was, he replied, "If I
were any better, I'd be twins. Wanna see my scars?"
I declined to see his wounds, but I did ask him
what had gone through his mind as the accident took place.
"The first thing that went through my mind was
the well-being of my soon-to-be born daughter," he replied! D. "Then, as
I lay on the ground, I remembered that I had two choices: I could choose
to live or...I could choose to die. I chose to live."
"Weren't you scared? Did you lose
consciousness?" I asked.
He continued, "..the paramedics were great.
They kept telling me I was going to be fine. But
when they wheeled me into the ER and I saw the expressions on the faces
of the doctors and nurses, I got really scared. In their eyes, I read
'he's a dead man'. I knew I needed to take action."
"What did you do?" I asked.
"Well, there was a big burly nurse shouting
questions at me," said John. "She asked if I was allergic to anything.
'Yes, I replied.' The doctors and nurses stopped working as they waited
for my reply. I took a deep breath and yelled, 'Gravity'."
Over their laughter, I told them, "I am choosing
to live. Operate on me as if I am alive, not dead."
He lived, thanks to the skill of his doctors,
but also because of his amazing attitude... I learned from him that
every day we have the choice to live fully.
Attitude, after all, is everything.
Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for
tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its
own." Matthew 6:34.
After all today is the tomorrow you worried
about yesterday.
Always in a good mood and always has something
positive to say. When someone would ask him how he was doing, he would
reply, "If I were any better, I would be twins!"
He was a natural motivator.
If an employee was having a bad day, John was
there telling the employee how to look on the positive side of the
situation.
Seeing this style really made me curious, so one
day I went up and asked him, "I don't get it!
You can't be a positive person all of the time.
How do you do it?"
He replied, "Each morning I wake up
And say to myself, you have two choices today.
You can choose to be in a good mood or ... You can choose to be in a bad
mood.
I choose to be in a good mood."
Each time something bad happens, I can choose to
be a victim or...I can choose to learn from it. I choose to learn from
it.
Every time someone comes to me complaining, I
can choose to accept their complaining or... I can point out the
positive side of life. I choose the positive side of life.
"Yeah, right, it's not that easy," I protested.
"Yes, it is," he said. "Life is all about
choices. When you cut away all the junk, every situation is a choice.
You choose how you react to situations. You choose how people affect
your mood.
You choose to be in a good mood or bad mood. The
bottom line: It's your choice how you live your life."
I reflected on what he said. Soon hereafter, I
left the Tower Industry to start my own business. We lost touch, but I
often thought about him when I made a choice about life instead of
reacting to it.
Several years
Later, I heard that he was involved in a serious
accident, falling some 60 feet from a communications tower.
After 18 hours of surgery and weeks of intensive
care, he was released from the hospital with rods placed in his back.
I saw him
About six months after the accident.
!
When I asked him how he was, he replied, "If I
were any better, I'd be twins. Wanna see my scars?"
I declined to see his wounds, but I did ask him
what had gone through his mind as the accident took place.
"The first thing that went through my mind was
the well-being of my soon-to-be born daughter," he replied! D. "Then, as
I lay on the ground, I remembered that I had two choices: I could choose
to live or...I could choose to die. I chose to live."
"Weren't you scared? Did you lose
consciousness?" I asked.
He continued, "..the paramedics were great.
They kept telling me I was going to be fine. But
when they wheeled me into the ER and I saw the expressions on the faces
of the doctors and nurses, I got really scared. In their eyes, I read
'he's a dead man'. I knew I needed to take action."
"What did you do?" I asked.
"Well, there was a big burly nurse shouting
questions at me," said John. "She asked if I was allergic to anything.
'Yes, I replied.' The doctors and nurses stopped working as they waited
for my reply. I took a deep breath and yelled, 'Gravity'."
Over their laughter, I told them, "I am choosing
to live. Operate on me as if I am alive, not dead."
He lived, thanks to the skill of his doctors,
but also because of his amazing attitude... I learned from him that
every day we have the choice to live fully.
Attitude, after all, is everything.
Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for
tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its
own." Matthew 6:34.
After all today is the tomorrow you worried
about yesterday.
Question: What is the truest definition of Globalization?
Answer: Princess Diana's death.
Question: How come?
Answer: An English princess
with an Egyptian boyfriend
crashes in a French tunnel,
driving a German car
with a Dutch engine,
driven by a Belgian who was drunk
on Scottish whisky, (check the bottle before you change the
spelling)
followed closely by Italian Paparazzi,
on Japanese motorcycles;
treated by an American doctor,
using Brazilian medicines.
This is sent to you by an African,
using Bill Gates's - (an American) technology
and you're probably reading this on your computer, that use Taiwanese
chips,
and a Korean monitor,
assembled by Bangladeshi workers
in a Singaporean plant,
transported by Indian
lousy-drivers,
hijacked by Indonesians,
unloaded by Sicilian longshoremen,
and trucked to you by Mexicans
..and now being read by a Filipino who should be working instead!
That, my friend, is Globalization.
Answer: Princess Diana's death.
Question: How come?
Answer: An English princess
with an Egyptian boyfriend
crashes in a French tunnel,
driving a German car
with a Dutch engine,
driven by a Belgian who was drunk
on Scottish whisky, (check the bottle before you change the
spelling)
followed closely by Italian Paparazzi,
on Japanese motorcycles;
treated by an American doctor,
using Brazilian medicines.
This is sent to you by an African,
using Bill Gates's - (an American) technology
and you're probably reading this on your computer, that use Taiwanese
chips,
and a Korean monitor,
assembled by Bangladeshi workers
in a Singaporean plant,
transported by Indian
lousy-drivers,
hijacked by Indonesians,
unloaded by Sicilian longshoremen,
and trucked to you by Mexicans
..and now being read by a Filipino who should be working instead!
That, my friend, is Globalization.
WHY I FIRED MY SECRETARY...
LAST WEEK WAS MY BIRTHDAY AND I DIDN'T FEEL VERY WELL WAKING UP THAT MORNING.
I WENT DOWNSTAIRS FOR BREAKFAST HOPING MY WIFE WOULD BE PLEASANT AND SAY,
"HAPPY BIRTHDAY!", AND POSSIBLY HAVE A PRESENT FOR ME.
AS IT TURNED OUT, SHE BARELY SAID GOOD MORNING, LET ALONE "HAPPY BIRTHDAY."
I THOUGHT... WELL, THAT'S MARRIAGE FOR YOU, BUT THE KIDS WILL REMEMBER.
MY KIDS CAME INTO BREAKFAST AND DIDN'T SAY A WORD. SO WHEN I LEFT FOR THE
OFFICE, I WAS FEELING PRETTY LOW AND SOMEWHAT DESPONDENT.
AS I WALKED INTO MY OFFICE, MY SECRETARY JANE SAID, "GOOD MORNING, BOSS, HAPPY BIRTHDAY!"
IT FELT A LITTLE BETTER THAT AT LEAST SOMEONE HAD REMEMBERED.
I WORKED UNTIL ONE O'CLOCK AND THEN JANE KNOCKED ON MY DOOR AND SAID, "YOU KNOW, IT'S SUCH A BEAUTIFUL DAY OUTSIDE, AND IT'S YOUR BIRTHDAY, LET'S GO OUT TO LUNCH, JUST YOU AND ME."
I SAID, "THANKS JANE, THAT'S THE GREATEST THING I'VE HEARD ALL DAY. LET'S GO!"
WE WENT TO LUNCH. BUT WE DIDN'T GO WHERE WE NORMALLY WOULD GO.
WE DINED INSTEAD AT A LITTLE PLACE WITH A PRIVATE TABLE. WE HAD TWO MARTINIS EACH AND I ENJOYED THE MEAL TREMENDOUSLY ON THE WAY BACK TO THE OFFICE, JANE SAID, "YOU KNOW, IT'S SUCH A BEAUTIFUL DAY... WE DON'T NEED TO GO BACK TO THE OFFICE, DO WE?"
I RESPONDED, "I GUESS NOT. WHAT DO YOU HAVE IN MIND?"
SHE SAID, "LET'S GO TO MY APARTMENT."
AFTER ARRIVING AT HER APARTMENT JANE TURNED TO ME AND SAID, "BOSS, IF YOU DON'T MIND, I'M GOING TO STEP INTO THE BEDROOM FOR A MOMENT. I'LL BE RIGHT BACK."
"OK." I NERVOUSLY REPLIED.
SHE WENT INTO THE BEDROOM AND, AFTER A COUPLE OF MINUTES, SHE CAME OUT CARRYING A HUGE BIRTHDAY CAKE... FOLLOWED BY MY WIFE, KIDS, AND DOZENS OF MY FRIENDS AND CO-WORKERS, ALL SINGING "HAPPY BIRTHDAY".
AND I JUST SAT THERE...
ON THE COUCH...
NAKED.
LAST WEEK WAS MY BIRTHDAY AND I DIDN'T FEEL VERY WELL WAKING UP THAT MORNING.
I WENT DOWNSTAIRS FOR BREAKFAST HOPING MY WIFE WOULD BE PLEASANT AND SAY,
"HAPPY BIRTHDAY!", AND POSSIBLY HAVE A PRESENT FOR ME.
AS IT TURNED OUT, SHE BARELY SAID GOOD MORNING, LET ALONE "HAPPY BIRTHDAY."
I THOUGHT... WELL, THAT'S MARRIAGE FOR YOU, BUT THE KIDS WILL REMEMBER.
MY KIDS CAME INTO BREAKFAST AND DIDN'T SAY A WORD. SO WHEN I LEFT FOR THE
OFFICE, I WAS FEELING PRETTY LOW AND SOMEWHAT DESPONDENT.
AS I WALKED INTO MY OFFICE, MY SECRETARY JANE SAID, "GOOD MORNING, BOSS, HAPPY BIRTHDAY!"
IT FELT A LITTLE BETTER THAT AT LEAST SOMEONE HAD REMEMBERED.
I WORKED UNTIL ONE O'CLOCK AND THEN JANE KNOCKED ON MY DOOR AND SAID, "YOU KNOW, IT'S SUCH A BEAUTIFUL DAY OUTSIDE, AND IT'S YOUR BIRTHDAY, LET'S GO OUT TO LUNCH, JUST YOU AND ME."
I SAID, "THANKS JANE, THAT'S THE GREATEST THING I'VE HEARD ALL DAY. LET'S GO!"
WE WENT TO LUNCH. BUT WE DIDN'T GO WHERE WE NORMALLY WOULD GO.
WE DINED INSTEAD AT A LITTLE PLACE WITH A PRIVATE TABLE. WE HAD TWO MARTINIS EACH AND I ENJOYED THE MEAL TREMENDOUSLY ON THE WAY BACK TO THE OFFICE, JANE SAID, "YOU KNOW, IT'S SUCH A BEAUTIFUL DAY... WE DON'T NEED TO GO BACK TO THE OFFICE, DO WE?"
I RESPONDED, "I GUESS NOT. WHAT DO YOU HAVE IN MIND?"
SHE SAID, "LET'S GO TO MY APARTMENT."
AFTER ARRIVING AT HER APARTMENT JANE TURNED TO ME AND SAID, "BOSS, IF YOU DON'T MIND, I'M GOING TO STEP INTO THE BEDROOM FOR A MOMENT. I'LL BE RIGHT BACK."
"OK." I NERVOUSLY REPLIED.
SHE WENT INTO THE BEDROOM AND, AFTER A COUPLE OF MINUTES, SHE CAME OUT CARRYING A HUGE BIRTHDAY CAKE... FOLLOWED BY MY WIFE, KIDS, AND DOZENS OF MY FRIENDS AND CO-WORKERS, ALL SINGING "HAPPY BIRTHDAY".
AND I JUST SAT THERE...
ON THE COUCH...
NAKED.
MAASIKASONG ASAWA
Dalawang linggo na ang nakalipas mula nang ikasal sina Gino at Karen.
Kahit mahal na mahal ni Gino ang kanyang misis, nasasabik din siyang makipag-inuman sa kanyang mga kumpare.
Isang gabi, nagpaalam si Gino kay Karen, "Honey, aalis ako ha, babalik kaagad ako..."
"Sweetheart, saan ka pupunta?" tanong ni Karen.
"Sa bar, cutiepie, iinom lang ako ng beer." saad ni Gino.
"Gusto mo ng beer, love? Eto..." hirit ni Karen sabay bukas ng refrigerator at ipinakita ang 25 na iba't ibang klase ng beer na puro imported.
Hindi malaman ni Gino kung ano ang gagawin.
Ang sabi na lang niya, "Oo, cutiepie, pero doon sa bar... alam mo na... yung malamig na glass..."
Hindi pa tapos magsalita si Gino, eh, buong lambing na nagsalita na si Karen, "Gusto mong malamig na glass, sweetheart? Eto..."
Binuksan ni Karen ang freezer at naglabas s'ya ngisang malaki at malamig na glass, sobrang lamig at nangangatog pa siya sa pagkakahawak.
Medyo namumutla na si Gino, na ang nasabi eh, "Oo nga cutie pie, Pero sa bar ang daming masasarap na pulutan... sandaling-sandali lang ako talaga. Babalik kaagad ako, okey?"
"Gusto mo ng pulutan, sweetheart?" malambing pa ringusisa ni Karen, na binuksan ang oven at naglabas ng iba-ibang klase ng pulutan - sisig, chicken wings, chicharong bulaklak, crispy pata, inihaw na bangus, camaron rebosado, hotdog with onion, kaldereta at iba pa."
Pero cutie pie... sa bar... you know, merong konting biruan, bolahan, murahan... you know..." alumpihit na sabi ni Gino.
Hindi na nakapagpigil si Karen, "Gusto Mo Ng Murahan Sweetheart?
....
...
TANGINA MO PALA EH! HETO, INUMIN MO ITONG PUTANG INANG BEER MOSA MALAMIG NA BWAKANAN NG INANG BASO NA ITO, AT KAININ MO 'YANG PUKI NANG INANG PULUTAN NA 'YAN DAHIL HINDI KA LALABAS NG BAHAY! ULOL! 'TANG INANG 'TO"
Kahit mahal na mahal ni Gino ang kanyang misis, nasasabik din siyang makipag-inuman sa kanyang mga kumpare.
Isang gabi, nagpaalam si Gino kay Karen, "Honey, aalis ako ha, babalik kaagad ako..."
"Sweetheart, saan ka pupunta?" tanong ni Karen.
"Sa bar, cutiepie, iinom lang ako ng beer." saad ni Gino.
"Gusto mo ng beer, love? Eto..." hirit ni Karen sabay bukas ng refrigerator at ipinakita ang 25 na iba't ibang klase ng beer na puro imported.
Hindi malaman ni Gino kung ano ang gagawin.
Ang sabi na lang niya, "Oo, cutiepie, pero doon sa bar... alam mo na... yung malamig na glass..."
Hindi pa tapos magsalita si Gino, eh, buong lambing na nagsalita na si Karen, "Gusto mong malamig na glass, sweetheart? Eto..."
Binuksan ni Karen ang freezer at naglabas s'ya ngisang malaki at malamig na glass, sobrang lamig at nangangatog pa siya sa pagkakahawak.
Medyo namumutla na si Gino, na ang nasabi eh, "Oo nga cutie pie, Pero sa bar ang daming masasarap na pulutan... sandaling-sandali lang ako talaga. Babalik kaagad ako, okey?"
"Gusto mo ng pulutan, sweetheart?" malambing pa ringusisa ni Karen, na binuksan ang oven at naglabas ng iba-ibang klase ng pulutan - sisig, chicken wings, chicharong bulaklak, crispy pata, inihaw na bangus, camaron rebosado, hotdog with onion, kaldereta at iba pa."
Pero cutie pie... sa bar... you know, merong konting biruan, bolahan, murahan... you know..." alumpihit na sabi ni Gino.
Hindi na nakapagpigil si Karen, "Gusto Mo Ng Murahan Sweetheart?
....
...
TANGINA MO PALA EH! HETO, INUMIN MO ITONG PUTANG INANG BEER MOSA MALAMIG NA BWAKANAN NG INANG BASO NA ITO, AT KAININ MO 'YANG PUKI NANG INANG PULUTAN NA 'YAN DAHIL HINDI KA LALABAS NG BAHAY! ULOL! 'TANG INANG 'TO"
Filipino excuse letters
These are excuse notes from parents (including original spelling)collected by schools from all over the country.
1. My son is under a doctors care and should not take P.E. today.Please execute him.
(Hala! Sige. Silya elektrika at bitay. Sabay pa! O kaya niyo yun?)
2. Please excuse Lisa for being absent. She was sick and I had her shot.
(Pag nag-absent pala papatayin ka...siyet! Baka may rabies...)
3. Dear School : Please ekscuse John being absent on Jan. 28, 29, 30, 31, 32, and also 33.
( Aba grabe to. Nasa kalendaryo pa ang birthday ko kung ganon. Hahaha!)
4. Please excuse Gloria from Jim today. She is administrating.
(Ano daw???? )
5. Please excuse Roland from P.E. for a few days. Yesterday he fell out of a tree and misplaced his hip.
(Hanapin natin!)
6. John has been absent because he had two teeth taken out of his face.
(Bwehehehe... la ako masabi... Bwahahaha! Ganito kasi yan. Kinagat siya ni Lola sa noo sa gigil. Tapos nabali yung ngipin ng pustiso niya. Hahaha!!! )
7. Megan could not come to school today because she has been bothered by very close veins.
(Buti pa veins niya. Close sila. Hahahaha!!!)
8. Chris will not be in school cus he has an acre in his side.
9. Please excuse Ray Friday from school. He has very loose vowels.
(Aah.....eh....i.....ow....u....)
10. Please excuse Pedro from being absent yesterday. He had(diahre)(dyrea)(direathe) the shits. [words in ()s were crossed out.]
(Sinabi na kasi LBM na lang e. Pasosyal pa kasi.)
11. Irving was absent yesterday because he missed his bust.
(So transsexual pala si Irving ?)
12. I kept Billie home because she had to go Christmas shopping because I dont know what size she wear.
13. Sally wont be in school a week from Friday. We have to attend her funeral.
(Ala e! Mabuhay ang Patay!! Mayroong Himala!!!)
14. Please excuse Jason for being absent yesterday. He had a cold and could not breed well.
(Stud service ba yung school nya? baka gremlins siya.)
15. Gloria was absent yesterday as she was having a gangover.
(Ay grabe! Iba na talaga ang mga kabataan ngayon. Hahaha!)
16. Maryann was absent December 11-16, because she had a fever, sore throat, headache and upset stomach. Her sister was also sick, fever and sore throat, her brother had a low grade fever and ached all over. I wasnt the best either, sore throat and fever. There must be something going around, her father even got hot last night.
(Hahaha, telenovela... bow. Makuwento siya ha... Kulang lang sapansin...)
17. Please excuse Jennifer for missing school yesterday. We forgot to get the Sunday paper off the porch, and when we found it Monday, we thought it was Sunday.
(Winner to!!!!!!!!!! Anggaling!!!! Puwede rin kaya sa office ito?)
1. My son is under a doctors care and should not take P.E. today.Please execute him.
(Hala! Sige. Silya elektrika at bitay. Sabay pa! O kaya niyo yun?)
2. Please excuse Lisa for being absent. She was sick and I had her shot.
(Pag nag-absent pala papatayin ka...siyet! Baka may rabies...)
3. Dear School : Please ekscuse John being absent on Jan. 28, 29, 30, 31, 32, and also 33.
( Aba grabe to. Nasa kalendaryo pa ang birthday ko kung ganon. Hahaha!)
4. Please excuse Gloria from Jim today. She is administrating.
(Ano daw???? )
5. Please excuse Roland from P.E. for a few days. Yesterday he fell out of a tree and misplaced his hip.
(Hanapin natin!)
6. John has been absent because he had two teeth taken out of his face.
(Bwehehehe... la ako masabi... Bwahahaha! Ganito kasi yan. Kinagat siya ni Lola sa noo sa gigil. Tapos nabali yung ngipin ng pustiso niya. Hahaha!!! )
7. Megan could not come to school today because she has been bothered by very close veins.
(Buti pa veins niya. Close sila. Hahahaha!!!)
8. Chris will not be in school cus he has an acre in his side.
9. Please excuse Ray Friday from school. He has very loose vowels.
(Aah.....eh....i.....ow....u....)
10. Please excuse Pedro from being absent yesterday. He had(diahre)(dyrea)(direathe) the shits. [words in ()s were crossed out.]
(Sinabi na kasi LBM na lang e. Pasosyal pa kasi.)
11. Irving was absent yesterday because he missed his bust.
(So transsexual pala si Irving ?)
12. I kept Billie home because she had to go Christmas shopping because I dont know what size she wear.
13. Sally wont be in school a week from Friday. We have to attend her funeral.
(Ala e! Mabuhay ang Patay!! Mayroong Himala!!!)
14. Please excuse Jason for being absent yesterday. He had a cold and could not breed well.
(Stud service ba yung school nya? baka gremlins siya.)
15. Gloria was absent yesterday as she was having a gangover.
(Ay grabe! Iba na talaga ang mga kabataan ngayon. Hahaha!)
16. Maryann was absent December 11-16, because she had a fever, sore throat, headache and upset stomach. Her sister was also sick, fever and sore throat, her brother had a low grade fever and ached all over. I wasnt the best either, sore throat and fever. There must be something going around, her father even got hot last night.
(Hahaha, telenovela... bow. Makuwento siya ha... Kulang lang sapansin...)
17. Please excuse Jennifer for missing school yesterday. We forgot to get the Sunday paper off the porch, and when we found it Monday, we thought it was Sunday.
(Winner to!!!!!!!!!! Anggaling!!!! Puwede rin kaya sa office ito?)
INDIAN NAMES
A little Indian boy asked his father, the big chief and witch doctor ofthe tribe, "Papa, why is it that we always have long names, while thewhite men have shorter names - Bill , Tex or Sam, for example?"
His father replied, "Look, son, our names represent a symbol, a sign, ora poem for our culture not like the white men, who live all together andrepeat their names from generation to generation. Also, it is part ofour makeup that in spite of everything, we survive.
For example, your sister's name is Small Romantic Moon Over The Lake, because on the night she was born, there was a beautiful moon reflected in the lake.
Then there's your brother, Big White Horse of the Prairies, because hewas born on a day that the big white horse who gallops over the prairiesof the world appeared near our camp and is a symbol of our capacity tolive and the life force of our people. It's very simple and easy to understand.
Do you have any other questions, Little Broken Condom Made in China ?
His father replied, "Look, son, our names represent a symbol, a sign, ora poem for our culture not like the white men, who live all together andrepeat their names from generation to generation. Also, it is part ofour makeup that in spite of everything, we survive.
For example, your sister's name is Small Romantic Moon Over The Lake, because on the night she was born, there was a beautiful moon reflected in the lake.
Then there's your brother, Big White Horse of the Prairies, because hewas born on a day that the big white horse who gallops over the prairiesof the world appeared near our camp and is a symbol of our capacity tolive and the life force of our people. It's very simple and easy to understand.
Do you have any other questions, Little Broken Condom Made in China ?
Tuesday, January 13, 2009
GEOGRAPHY OF WOMEN & MEN
GEOGRAPHY OF WOMEN
Between 18 and 22, a woman is like Africa, half-discovered, half-wild, naturally beautiful with fertile soil.
Between 23 and 30, a woman is like America, well developed and open to trade, especially for someone with cash.
Between 31 and 35, a woman is like India, very hot, relaxed and convinced of her own beauty.
Between 36 and 40, a woman is like France, gently aging but still warm and a desirable place to visit.
Between 41 and 50, a woman is like Great Britain, with a glorious and all conquering past.
Between 51 and 60, a woman is like Yugoslavia, lost the war and haunted by past mistakes.
Between 61 and 70, a woman is like Russia, very wide with borders now unpatrolled.
After 70, she becomes Tibet. Wildly beautiful, with a mysterious past and the wisdom of the ages....only those with an adventurous spirit and a thirst for spiritual knowledge visit there.
GEOGRAPHY OF MEN
Between 1 and 70, a man is like Iraq. Ruled by a dick.
Between 18 and 22, a woman is like Africa, half-discovered, half-wild, naturally beautiful with fertile soil.
Between 23 and 30, a woman is like America, well developed and open to trade, especially for someone with cash.
Between 31 and 35, a woman is like India, very hot, relaxed and convinced of her own beauty.
Between 36 and 40, a woman is like France, gently aging but still warm and a desirable place to visit.
Between 41 and 50, a woman is like Great Britain, with a glorious and all conquering past.
Between 51 and 60, a woman is like Yugoslavia, lost the war and haunted by past mistakes.
Between 61 and 70, a woman is like Russia, very wide with borders now unpatrolled.
After 70, she becomes Tibet. Wildly beautiful, with a mysterious past and the wisdom of the ages....only those with an adventurous spirit and a thirst for spiritual knowledge visit there.
GEOGRAPHY OF MEN
Between 1 and 70, a man is like Iraq. Ruled by a dick.
A Test of Morals
This test only has one question, but it's a very important one. By giving an honest answer, you will discover where you stand morally. The test features an unlikely, completely fictional situation in which you will have to make a decision. Remember that your answer needs to be honest, yet spontaneous.
Please read slowly and give due consideration to each line.
You are in Manila - walking along the Pasig River to be specific. There is chaos all around you caused by a typhoon with severe flooding. This is a flood of biblical proportions. You are a photojournalist working for a major newspaper, and you're caught in the middle of this epic disaster.
The situation is nearly hopeless! You're trying to shoot career-making photos. There are houses and people swirling around you, some disappearing under the water. Nature is unleashing all of its destructive fury. Suddenly, you see a woman floundering in the water. She is fighting for her life, trying not to be taken down with the debris. You move closer ... and discover that somehow, the woman looks familiar. You suddenly realize who it is. It's Gloria Macapagal Arroyo! At the same time, you notice that the raging waters are about to pull her under.
You have two options: You can save the life of GMA, or you can shoot a dramatic Pulitzer Prize-winning photo, documenting the death of one of the world's most powerful women.
So here's the question, and please give an honest answer:
Would you select high-contrast color film, or would you go with the classic simplicity of black and white?
Please read slowly and give due consideration to each line.
You are in Manila - walking along the Pasig River to be specific. There is chaos all around you caused by a typhoon with severe flooding. This is a flood of biblical proportions. You are a photojournalist working for a major newspaper, and you're caught in the middle of this epic disaster.
The situation is nearly hopeless! You're trying to shoot career-making photos. There are houses and people swirling around you, some disappearing under the water. Nature is unleashing all of its destructive fury. Suddenly, you see a woman floundering in the water. She is fighting for her life, trying not to be taken down with the debris. You move closer ... and discover that somehow, the woman looks familiar. You suddenly realize who it is. It's Gloria Macapagal Arroyo! At the same time, you notice that the raging waters are about to pull her under.
You have two options: You can save the life of GMA, or you can shoot a dramatic Pulitzer Prize-winning photo, documenting the death of one of the world's most powerful women.
So here's the question, and please give an honest answer:
Would you select high-contrast color film, or would you go with the classic simplicity of black and white?
wise words to live by
Q: I've heard that cardiovascular exercise can prolong life; is this true?
A: Your heart is only good for so many beats, and that's it... don't waste them on exercise. Everything wears out eventually. Speeding up your heart will not make you live longer; that's like saying you can extend the life of your car by driving it faster. Want to live longer? Take a nap.
Q: Should I cut down on meat and eat more fruits and vegetables?
A: You must grasp logistical efficiencies. What does a cow eat? Hay and corn. And what are these? Vegetables. So a steak is nothing more than an efficient mechanism of delivering vegetables to your system. Need grain? Eat chicken. Beef is also a good source of field grass (green leafy vegetable). And a pork chop can give you 100% of your recommended daily allowance of vegetable products.
Q: Should I reduce my alcohol intake?
A: No, not at all. Wine is made from fruit. Brandy is distilled wine, that means they take the water out of the fruity bit so you get even more of the goodness that way. Beer is also made out of grain. Bottoms up!
Q: How can I calculate my body/fat ratio?
A: Well, if you have a body and you have fat, your ratio is one to one. If you have two bodies, your ratio is two to one, etc.
Q: What are some of the advantages of participating in a regular exercise program?
A: Can't think of a single one, sorry. My philosophy is: No Pain...Good!
Q: Aren't fried foods bad for you?
A: YOU'RE NOT LISTENING!!!. Foods are fried these days in vegetable oil. In fact, they're permeated in it. How could getting more vegetables be bad for you?
Q: Will sit-ups help prevent me from getting a little soft around the middle?
A: Definitely not! When you exercise a muscle, it gets bigger. You should only be doing sit-ups if you want a bigger stomach.
Q: Is chocolate bad for me?
A: Are you crazy? HELLO ...... Cocoa beans! Another vegetable!!! It's the best feel-good food around!
Q: Is swimming good for your figure?
A: If swimming is good for your figure, explain whales to me.
Q: Is getting in-shape important for my lifestyle?
A: Hey! 'Round' is a shape!
Well, I hope this has cleared up any misconceptions you may have had about food and diets.
And remember: "Life should NOT be a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving safely in an attractive and well preserved body, but rather to skid in sideways - Chardonnay in one hand - chocolate in the other - body thoroughly used up, totally worn out, and screaming "WOO HOO, What a Ride!"
A: Your heart is only good for so many beats, and that's it... don't waste them on exercise. Everything wears out eventually. Speeding up your heart will not make you live longer; that's like saying you can extend the life of your car by driving it faster. Want to live longer? Take a nap.
Q: Should I cut down on meat and eat more fruits and vegetables?
A: You must grasp logistical efficiencies. What does a cow eat? Hay and corn. And what are these? Vegetables. So a steak is nothing more than an efficient mechanism of delivering vegetables to your system. Need grain? Eat chicken. Beef is also a good source of field grass (green leafy vegetable). And a pork chop can give you 100% of your recommended daily allowance of vegetable products.
Q: Should I reduce my alcohol intake?
A: No, not at all. Wine is made from fruit. Brandy is distilled wine, that means they take the water out of the fruity bit so you get even more of the goodness that way. Beer is also made out of grain. Bottoms up!
Q: How can I calculate my body/fat ratio?
A: Well, if you have a body and you have fat, your ratio is one to one. If you have two bodies, your ratio is two to one, etc.
Q: What are some of the advantages of participating in a regular exercise program?
A: Can't think of a single one, sorry. My philosophy is: No Pain...Good!
Q: Aren't fried foods bad for you?
A: YOU'RE NOT LISTENING!!!. Foods are fried these days in vegetable oil. In fact, they're permeated in it. How could getting more vegetables be bad for you?
Q: Will sit-ups help prevent me from getting a little soft around the middle?
A: Definitely not! When you exercise a muscle, it gets bigger. You should only be doing sit-ups if you want a bigger stomach.
Q: Is chocolate bad for me?
A: Are you crazy? HELLO ...... Cocoa beans! Another vegetable!!! It's the best feel-good food around!
Q: Is swimming good for your figure?
A: If swimming is good for your figure, explain whales to me.
Q: Is getting in-shape important for my lifestyle?
A: Hey! 'Round' is a shape!
Well, I hope this has cleared up any misconceptions you may have had about food and diets.
And remember: "Life should NOT be a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving safely in an attractive and well preserved body, but rather to skid in sideways - Chardonnay in one hand - chocolate in the other - body thoroughly used up, totally worn out, and screaming "WOO HOO, What a Ride!"
TERMINOLOGY : Restaurant Menu 2009
TAPSILOG - Tapa, Sinangag, Itlog
LONGSILOG - Longganisa, Sinangag, Itlog
HOTSILOG - Hotdog, Sinangag, Itlog
PORKSILOG - Baboy, Sinangag, Itlog
CHICKSILOG - Chicken Sinangag Itlog
AZUCARERA - Adobong Aso
LUGLOG - Lugaw, Itlog
PAKAPLOG - Pandesal, Kape, Itlog
KALOG - Kanin, Itlog
PAKALOG - Pandesal, Kanin, Itlog
MAALOG NA BETLOG - Maalat na Itlog, Pakbet, Itlog
BAHAW - kaning lamig ito... pero may nagtinda, Bakang Inihaw
KALKAL - Kalderetang Kalabaw
HIMAS - Hipon Malasado
HIMAS SUSO - Hipon Malasado, Sugpo, Keso
HIMAS PEKPEK - Hipon Malasado, Kropek, Pinekpek'n
PEKPEK MONG MALAKI - Kropek, Pinekpek'n, Monggo, Malasado, Laing, Kilawin
DILA - Dinuguan, Laing
DILAAN MO - Dinuguan, Laing, Dalandan, Molo
BOKA BOKA - Bopis, Kanin, Bokayo, Kape
BOKA BOKA MO PA - Bopis, Kanin, Bokayo, Kape, Molong Pancit
KANTOT - Kanin, Tortang Talong
KANTOT PA - Kanin, Tortang Talong, Pancit
SIGE KANTOT PA - Sinigang na Pige, Kanin, Tortang Talong, Pancit
SIGE KANTOT PA IBAON MO - Sinigang na Pige, Kanin, Tortang Talong, Pancit...Take out
SIGE KANTOT PA HA - Sinigang na Pige, Kanin, Tortang Talong, Pancit, Halo-halo
SIGE KANTOT PAIBAON MO PAPA - Sinigang na Pige, Kanin, Tortang Talong, Pancit... Take
out w/ Ketchup
PAKANTOT - Pandesal, Kanin, Tortang Talong
PAPAKANTOT - Papaitan, Kanin, Tortang Talong
PAPAKANTOT KA BA - Papaitan, Kanin, Tortang Talong, Kapeng Barako
PAKANTOT SA YO - Pandesal, Kanin, Tortang Talong, Saging... + Yosi
PAKANTOT KA - Pandesal, Kanin, Tortang Talong, Kape
PAKANTOT KA HABANG MATIGAS PA -Pandesal, Kanin, Tortang Talong, Kape, Inihaw
na Bangus, Maruya, Tinola, Ginisang Aso, Pancit
SUBO - Sugpo, Bopis
SUBO MO - Sugpo, Bopis, Molo
SUBO MO PA - Sugpo, Bopis, Molo, Pancit
SUBO MO PA MAIGE - Sugpo, Bopis, Molo, Mais, Pige
SUBO MO TITE KO - Sugpo, Bopis, Tinola, Teryaki, Kochinta
SUBO MO TITE KO BILIS! - Sugpo, Bopis, Tinola Teryaki, Kochinta, Bihon, Tawilis
SUBO MO TITE KO BILIS, HAYOP! - ...same as above, minura mo lang yung waiter kasi ang
tagal ng order...
MASAYANG MASAYA KA NOH???!!!!
LONGSILOG - Longganisa, Sinangag, Itlog
HOTSILOG - Hotdog, Sinangag, Itlog
PORKSILOG - Baboy, Sinangag, Itlog
CHICKSILOG - Chicken Sinangag Itlog
AZUCARERA - Adobong Aso
LUGLOG - Lugaw, Itlog
PAKAPLOG - Pandesal, Kape, Itlog
KALOG - Kanin, Itlog
PAKALOG - Pandesal, Kanin, Itlog
MAALOG NA BETLOG - Maalat na Itlog, Pakbet, Itlog
BAHAW - kaning lamig ito... pero may nagtinda, Bakang Inihaw
KALKAL - Kalderetang Kalabaw
HIMAS - Hipon Malasado
HIMAS SUSO - Hipon Malasado, Sugpo, Keso
HIMAS PEKPEK - Hipon Malasado, Kropek, Pinekpek'n
PEKPEK MONG MALAKI - Kropek, Pinekpek'n, Monggo, Malasado, Laing, Kilawin
DILA - Dinuguan, Laing
DILAAN MO - Dinuguan, Laing, Dalandan, Molo
BOKA BOKA - Bopis, Kanin, Bokayo, Kape
BOKA BOKA MO PA - Bopis, Kanin, Bokayo, Kape, Molong Pancit
KANTOT - Kanin, Tortang Talong
KANTOT PA - Kanin, Tortang Talong, Pancit
SIGE KANTOT PA - Sinigang na Pige, Kanin, Tortang Talong, Pancit
SIGE KANTOT PA IBAON MO - Sinigang na Pige, Kanin, Tortang Talong, Pancit...Take out
SIGE KANTOT PA HA - Sinigang na Pige, Kanin, Tortang Talong, Pancit, Halo-halo
SIGE KANTOT PAIBAON MO PAPA - Sinigang na Pige, Kanin, Tortang Talong, Pancit... Take
out w/ Ketchup
PAKANTOT - Pandesal, Kanin, Tortang Talong
PAPAKANTOT - Papaitan, Kanin, Tortang Talong
PAPAKANTOT KA BA - Papaitan, Kanin, Tortang Talong, Kapeng Barako
PAKANTOT SA YO - Pandesal, Kanin, Tortang Talong, Saging... + Yosi
PAKANTOT KA - Pandesal, Kanin, Tortang Talong, Kape
PAKANTOT KA HABANG MATIGAS PA -Pandesal, Kanin, Tortang Talong, Kape, Inihaw
na Bangus, Maruya, Tinola, Ginisang Aso, Pancit
SUBO - Sugpo, Bopis
SUBO MO - Sugpo, Bopis, Molo
SUBO MO PA - Sugpo, Bopis, Molo, Pancit
SUBO MO PA MAIGE - Sugpo, Bopis, Molo, Mais, Pige
SUBO MO TITE KO - Sugpo, Bopis, Tinola, Teryaki, Kochinta
SUBO MO TITE KO BILIS! - Sugpo, Bopis, Tinola Teryaki, Kochinta, Bihon, Tawilis
SUBO MO TITE KO BILIS, HAYOP! - ...same as above, minura mo lang yung waiter kasi ang
tagal ng order...
MASAYANG MASAYA KA NOH???!!!!
Friends Forever!
Friend: calls your parents by mr. and mrs.
Best friend: calls your parents dad & mom or tito & tita.
Friend: has never seen you cry
Best friend: has always has the best shoulder to cry on
Friend: never asks for anything to eat or drink
Best friend: opens the fridge & makes herself at home
Friend: asks you to write down your number.
Best friend: they ask you for their number (cuz they can't remember it)
Friend: borrows your stuff for a few days then gives it back.
Best friend: has a closet full of your stuff
Friend: only knows a few things about you
Best friend: could write a biography on your life story
Friend : will leave you behind if that is what the crowd is doing
Best friend: will always go with you
Friend: will ask where you've been (after going AWOL)
Best Friend: will say MISS YOU & goes on being your friend
Best friend: calls your parents dad & mom or tito & tita.
Friend: has never seen you cry
Best friend: has always has the best shoulder to cry on
Friend: never asks for anything to eat or drink
Best friend: opens the fridge & makes herself at home
Friend: asks you to write down your number.
Best friend: they ask you for their number (cuz they can't remember it)
Friend: borrows your stuff for a few days then gives it back.
Best friend: has a closet full of your stuff
Friend: only knows a few things about you
Best friend: could write a biography on your life story
Friend : will leave you behind if that is what the crowd is doing
Best friend: will always go with you
Friend: will ask where you've been (after going AWOL)
Best Friend: will say MISS YOU & goes on being your friend
another quote
IMAGINATION
is
a
quality
given
to
man
to
compensate
what
he
is
not,
and
a
SENSE
OF
HUMOR
was
provided
to
console
him
for
what
he
is...
A Two-Minute Management Course
Lesson One
An eagle was sitting on a tree resting, doing nothing.
A small rabbit saw the eagle and asked him, "Can I also sit like you and do nothing?"
The eagle answered: "Sure, why not."
So, the rabbit sat on the ground below the eagle and rested.
All of a sudden, a fox appeared, jumped on the rabbit and ate it.
Management Lesson - To be sitting and doing nothing, you must be sitting very, very high up.
Lesson Two
A turkey was chatting with a bull.
"I would love to be able to get to the top of that tree," sighed the turkey, "but I haven't got the energy."
"Well, why don't you nibble on some of my droppings?" replied the bull. "They're packed with nutrients."
The turkey pecked at a lump of dung, and found it actually gave him enough strength to reach the lowest branch of the tree.
The next day, after eating some more dung, he reached the second branch.
Finally after a fourth night, the turkey was proudly perched at the top of the tree.
He was promptly spotted by a farmer, who shot him out of the tree.
Management Lesson - Bull crap might get you to the top, but it won't keep you there.
Lesson Three
A little bird was flying south for the winter.
It was so cold, the bird froze and fell to the ground into a large field.
While he was lying there, a cow came by and dropped some dung on him.
As the frozen bird lay there in the pile of cow dung, he began to realize how warm he was..
The dung was actually thawing him out!
He lay there all warm and happy, and soon began to sing for joy.
A passing cat heard the bird singing and came to investigate. following the sound, the cat discovered the bird under the pile of cow dung, and promptly dug him out and ate him.
Management Lesson - (1) Not everyone who craps on you is your enemy.
(2) Not everyone who gets you out of crap is your friend.
(3) And when you're in deep crap, it's best to keep your mouth shut!
This ends your two minute management course.life's full of crap! no hard feelings. -_-
An eagle was sitting on a tree resting, doing nothing.
A small rabbit saw the eagle and asked him, "Can I also sit like you and do nothing?"
The eagle answered: "Sure, why not."
So, the rabbit sat on the ground below the eagle and rested.
All of a sudden, a fox appeared, jumped on the rabbit and ate it.
Management Lesson - To be sitting and doing nothing, you must be sitting very, very high up.
Lesson Two
A turkey was chatting with a bull.
"I would love to be able to get to the top of that tree," sighed the turkey, "but I haven't got the energy."
"Well, why don't you nibble on some of my droppings?" replied the bull. "They're packed with nutrients."
The turkey pecked at a lump of dung, and found it actually gave him enough strength to reach the lowest branch of the tree.
The next day, after eating some more dung, he reached the second branch.
Finally after a fourth night, the turkey was proudly perched at the top of the tree.
He was promptly spotted by a farmer, who shot him out of the tree.
Management Lesson - Bull crap might get you to the top, but it won't keep you there.
Lesson Three
A little bird was flying south for the winter.
It was so cold, the bird froze and fell to the ground into a large field.
While he was lying there, a cow came by and dropped some dung on him.
As the frozen bird lay there in the pile of cow dung, he began to realize how warm he was..
The dung was actually thawing him out!
He lay there all warm and happy, and soon began to sing for joy.
A passing cat heard the bird singing and came to investigate. following the sound, the cat discovered the bird under the pile of cow dung, and promptly dug him out and ate him.
Management Lesson - (1) Not everyone who craps on you is your enemy.
(2) Not everyone who gets you out of crap is your friend.
(3) And when you're in deep crap, it's best to keep your mouth shut!
This ends your two minute management course.life's full of crap! no hard feelings. -_-
Top ten reasons why there couldn'tbe a Filipino-American US President:
10. White House is not big enough for in-laws and extended relatives.
9. Not enough parking spaces at White House for public utility jeepneys, tricycles and pedicabs.
8. Dignitaries are intimidated by eating with their fingers during formal state dinners.
7. Too many dining rooms in the White House.
6. White house walls not big enough to hold giant wooden spoon and fork, the last supper and weapons of Moroland Shield.
5. Secret service staff won't respond to "pssst... pssst..."
4. Secret service staff uncomfortable driving presidential car with rosary hanging on the rear view mirror or with a statuette of Santo Nino on the dashboard.
. No budget allocation to purchase karaoke machines for every room in the White House.
2. State dinners do not allow "Take Home".AND THE NUMBER ONE REASON...
1. AIR FORCE ONE does not allow balikbayan boxes!
9. Not enough parking spaces at White House for public utility jeepneys, tricycles and pedicabs.
8. Dignitaries are intimidated by eating with their fingers during formal state dinners.
7. Too many dining rooms in the White House.
6. White house walls not big enough to hold giant wooden spoon and fork, the last supper and weapons of Moroland Shield.
5. Secret service staff won't respond to "pssst... pssst..."
4. Secret service staff uncomfortable driving presidential car with rosary hanging on the rear view mirror or with a statuette of Santo Nino on the dashboard.
. No budget allocation to purchase karaoke machines for every room in the White House.
2. State dinners do not allow "Take Home".AND THE NUMBER ONE REASON...
1. AIR FORCE ONE does not allow balikbayan boxes!
The Hardest Things In Love
1. Flashing your smile to someone you don't want to see.
2. Bringing back the feeling you've learned to forget.
3. Showing that you care.
4. Finding a way to mend a broken heart.
5. Learning that you've been used by someone you truly love.
6. Saying "i love you" when you mean it and when you don't.
7. Letting go of a person you've just learned to love.
8. Realizing that you love somebody you've just taken for granted.
9. Realizing that you love the person you've just broken up with.
10. Waiting for promises you know he/she will never keep.
11. Saying your love for someone who loves somebody else.
12. Reminiscing the good times you shared together.
13. Shielding your heart to love somebody.
14. Trying to hide what you really feel.
15. Having a commitment w/ someone that you know would not last.
16. Trying to hide the tears that involuntarily fall from your eyes.
17. Sharing the one you love w/ someone else.
18. Loving a person too much.
19. Giving up someone you never thought of giving up.
20. Falling in love for the first time.
21. Loving someone you haven't seen.
22. Having the right love at the wrong time.
23. Exerting effort to make the relationship last or work.
24. Not being appreciated when you know you've given your best.
25. Taking the risk to fall in love again.
26. Hiding your relationship from someone else.
27. Controlling your feelings to avoid hurting a friend.
28. Choosing between 2 persons whom you really love.
29. Finding out that you can never have the person you just let go of back.
30. Seeing the person you love with someone else.
Loving involves two phases:
The first intuitive one is loving the person because of who he/she is.
The second nobler one is loving the person despite of who he/she is not. The first one sparks love.
The second one makes it last.
NaUgHtY PoEmS
POEM # 1
I like your style
I like your class
but most of all i like your ass
POEM # 2
Im a cool girl, in a cool town
it takes a real mother fucker to put me down
POEM # 3
Kissing is a habit
Fucking is a game
Guys get all the pleasure
Girls get all the pain
The guy says i love you
You believe its true
But when your tummy starts to swell,
He says 'to hell with you'
10 minutes of pleasure
9 months in pain
3 days in hospital
A baby without a name
The baby is a bastard
The mother is a whore
This never wouldn't have happened
If the rubber wouldn't have torn
POEM # 4
Guys are like roses,
Watch out for the pricks.
POEM # 5
Smoke a smoke
Not a butt
Fuck a virginNot a slut.
POEM # 6
Sex is bad
Sex is a sin
Sins are forgiven
So stick it in.
POEM # 7
Holy mother, full of grace
Bless my boyfriend's gorgeous face
Bless his hair that tends to curl
Keep him safe from all the girls
Bless his arms that are so strong
Keep his hands where they belong
Bless his dick, the one i sucked
Bless the bed, in which we fucked
And if my Mom happened to walk in
Bless the shit I'd be in.
POEM # 8
Sex is when a guys communication
enters a girls information
to increase the population
for a younger generation
do you get the information...
or do you need a demonstration
POEM # 9
Men are like public toilets
They are either engaged or full of shit!
POEM # 10
If guys had they periods
They would compare the size of their tampons!
POEM # 11
Mental anxiety,
Mental breakdowns,
Menstrual cramps,
Menopause...
Did you ever notice how all our problems begin with MEN!
POEM # 12
Roses are red,
Violets are corny,
When I think of you
Ohh baby I get horny,
Eat me,
Beat me,
Bite me,
Blow me,
Suck me,
Fuck me,
Very slowly,
if you kiss me,
dont be sassy,
Use your tongue and make it nasty!!!!
Poem #13
Roses Are Red, Violets Are Blue...
I'm In Love But Not With You...
When We Broke Up You Thought I Cried
But All It Was...
Was Another Guy,
You Told Your Friends That I Was A Trick,
I Told Mine That You Had A Weak Dick...
I Said I Loved You
And You Thought It Was True,
But Guess What Baby?!
You Got Played Too!!
Poem #14
Guys are like parking spots...
the good ones are always taken...
and the ones that are available,
are either handicapped or too far away!! *Darny*
I like your style
I like your class
but most of all i like your ass
POEM # 2
Im a cool girl, in a cool town
it takes a real mother fucker to put me down
POEM # 3
Kissing is a habit
Fucking is a game
Guys get all the pleasure
Girls get all the pain
The guy says i love you
You believe its true
But when your tummy starts to swell,
He says 'to hell with you'
10 minutes of pleasure
9 months in pain
3 days in hospital
A baby without a name
The baby is a bastard
The mother is a whore
This never wouldn't have happened
If the rubber wouldn't have torn
POEM # 4
Guys are like roses,
Watch out for the pricks.
POEM # 5
Smoke a smoke
Not a butt
Fuck a virginNot a slut.
POEM # 6
Sex is bad
Sex is a sin
Sins are forgiven
So stick it in.
POEM # 7
Holy mother, full of grace
Bless my boyfriend's gorgeous face
Bless his hair that tends to curl
Keep him safe from all the girls
Bless his arms that are so strong
Keep his hands where they belong
Bless his dick, the one i sucked
Bless the bed, in which we fucked
And if my Mom happened to walk in
Bless the shit I'd be in.
POEM # 8
Sex is when a guys communication
enters a girls information
to increase the population
for a younger generation
do you get the information...
or do you need a demonstration
POEM # 9
Men are like public toilets
They are either engaged or full of shit!
POEM # 10
If guys had they periods
They would compare the size of their tampons!
POEM # 11
Mental anxiety,
Mental breakdowns,
Menstrual cramps,
Menopause...
Did you ever notice how all our problems begin with MEN!
POEM # 12
Roses are red,
Violets are corny,
When I think of you
Ohh baby I get horny,
Eat me,
Beat me,
Bite me,
Blow me,
Suck me,
Fuck me,
Very slowly,
if you kiss me,
dont be sassy,
Use your tongue and make it nasty!!!!
Poem #13
Roses Are Red, Violets Are Blue...
I'm In Love But Not With You...
When We Broke Up You Thought I Cried
But All It Was...
Was Another Guy,
You Told Your Friends That I Was A Trick,
I Told Mine That You Had A Weak Dick...
I Said I Loved You
And You Thought It Was True,
But Guess What Baby?!
You Got Played Too!!
Poem #14
Guys are like parking spots...
the good ones are always taken...
and the ones that are available,
are either handicapped or too far away!! *Darny*
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