A Two-Minute Management Course

Lesson One

An eagle was sitting on a tree resting, doing nothing.
A small rabbit saw the eagle and asked him, "Can I also sit like you and do nothing?"
The eagle answered: "Sure, why not."
So, the rabbit sat on the ground below the eagle and rested.
All of a sudden, a fox appeared, jumped on the rabbit and ate it.

Management Lesson - To be sitting and doing nothing, you must be sitting very, very high up.


Lesson Two

A turkey was chatting with a bull.
"I would love to be able to get to the top of that tree," sighed the turkey, "but I haven't got the energy."
"Well, why don't you nibble on some of my droppings?" replied the bull. "They're packed with nutrients."
The turkey pecked at a lump of dung, and found it actually gave him enough strength to reach the lowest branch of the tree.
The next day, after eating some more dung, he reached the second branch.
Finally after a fourth night, the turkey was proudly perched at the top of the tree.
He was promptly spotted by a farmer, who shot him out of the tree.

Management Lesson - Bull crap might get you to the top, but it won't keep you there.


Lesson Three

A little bird was flying south for the winter.
It was so cold, the bird froze and fell to the ground into a large field.
While he was lying there, a cow came by and dropped some dung on him.
As the frozen bird lay there in the pile of cow dung, he began to realize how warm he was..
The dung was actually thawing him out!
He lay there all warm and happy, and soon began to sing for joy.
A passing cat heard the bird singing and came to investigate. following the sound, the cat discovered the bird under the pile of cow dung, and promptly dug him out and ate him.

Management Lesson - (1) Not everyone who craps on you is your enemy.
(2) Not everyone who gets you out of crap is your friend.
(3) And when you're in deep crap, it's best to keep your mouth shut!



This ends your two minute management course.life's full of crap! no hard feelings. -_-

just a quote...

our

lives

are

constituted

far

more

by

what

we

do

than

by

what

happens

to

us.

Top ten reasons why there couldn'tbe a Filipino-American US President:

10. White House is not big enough for in-laws and extended relatives.


9. Not enough parking spaces at White House for public utility jeepneys, tricycles and pedicabs.


8. Dignitaries are intimidated by eating with their fingers during formal state dinners.


7. Too many dining rooms in the White House.


6. White house walls not big enough to hold giant wooden spoon and fork, the last supper and weapons of Moroland Shield.


5. Secret service staff won't respond to "pssst... pssst..."


4. Secret service staff uncomfortable driving presidential car with rosary hanging on the rear view mirror or with a statuette of Santo Nino on the dashboard.


. No budget allocation to purchase karaoke machines for every room in the White House.


2. State dinners do not allow "Take Home".AND THE NUMBER ONE REASON...




1. AIR FORCE ONE does not allow balikbayan boxes!