The 7 Most Overrated Businesses

By Kelly K. Spors and Kevin Salwen
With roughly 6.7 million jobs lost since the start of the recession, it's tempting - and often a great idea - to launch your own business. That way, of course, you can take matters into your own hands. No more rolling your eyes at the boss; it's your show.

But many people do a lousy job of picking businesses they can realistically turn into a profitable operation.

"There's this very sad pattern about how people start businesses," says Scott Shane, an entrepreneurship professor at Case Western Reserve University in Cleveland, Ohio. "People are most likely to start businesses in industries where start-ups are most likely to fail."

The problem: Many would-be entrepreneurs are drawn to businesses they like to patronize or the ones that are cheapest and easiest to start. Instead, experts argue, aspiring entrepreneurs should create firms in which they have professional experience so they have a competitive advantage in the market.

So, what are most overrated businesses out there? We spoke with small business experts to find out. Here are seven you might want to think twice about - and then maybe twice more.

1. Restaurants. Dining out and cooking are among Americans' favorite pastimes. But "restaurants are among the toughest businesses to run," says Donna Ettenson, vice president of the Association of Small Business Development Centers in Burke, Va.

Far too many people assume their culinary abilities will lead to success in the restaurant business. Instead, about 60% of restaurants close in the first three years, according to a 2003 study at Ohio State University. That's quite a bit higher than the roughly half of all start-ups that close in the first five years.

The reason: Restaurants typically have low profit margins and need strong managers who can run an ultra-tight ship through seasonal fluctuations and other struggles. Most people don't have that kind of intense managerial ability to pull it off. By the way, the pitfalls are quite similar for restaurants' cousin – the catering business. In other words, Chef Emptor.

2. Direct Sales. It's a tempting pitch: Work from home and earn commissions by selling cosmetics, kitchen knives or cleaning products. But companies that recruit independent sales reps tend to attract new team members by pointing to the success of their highest earners.

A harder look shows that those high earners are making big money in large part by recruiting new reps into the organization and getting bonuses or a cut of their recruits' commissions, says Ken Yancey, chief executive of SCORE, a Herndon, Va., organization of current and retired business executives who volunteer time counseling entrepreneurs. The new reps then have a much harder job because they need to recruit more people on top of selling product even though the number of reps out there is increasing.

The result, Yancey says: "Most of them wind up with a bunch of jewelry or kitchen equipment sitting in their basement that they can't sell."

3. Online Retail. By far, one of the easiest businesses to start is selling items through online marketplaces such as eBay or Amazon. But as online commerce ages and these sites fill up with more established retailers, it's much harder for new, small sellers to compete for attention and generate a viable income.

"A lot of people are thinking it's the Web of five or 10 years ago and you stand out simply because you're on the Web," says Rieva Lesonsky, chief executive of GrowBiz Media, a content and consulting company for small businesses based in Irvine, Calif.

Instead, successful online retailers today must have a handle on sourcing their products at a low enough price, then layering on clever online marketing and fine-tuned logistics. These businesses won't generate much income if they can't be easily found in searches, maintain a good reputation among buyers or add enough value so that sellers can build profit margins high enough to take on bigger players and physical stores.

4. High-End Retail. Many people dream of opening a day spa, luxury jewelry store or designer clothing boutique – businesses they feel good patronizing. But specialty retail businesses close at higher rates than non-specialty stores, according to the Small Business Administration's Office of Advocacy, and are even riskier now that consumer discretionary spending has dried up and people are no longer spending money on little luxuries.

"It's going to be a long time before we return to the days of conspicuous consumption," says Ms. Lesonsky of GrowBiz Media. High-end retailers often suffer from poor locations and lack of understanding of how to source and market their products in an effective way. In today's economy and in coming years, she says, retail entrepreneurs should be looking to sell non-discretionary consumer goods or offer items at a value rather than high-end products.

5. Independent Consulting. Common advice for aspiring entrepreneurs is to stick with industries they know. So, for many looking to escape the corporate treadmill that means turning their professional expertise into a one-person consulting firm.

It seems practical – more companies are indeed relying on independent contractors and freelancers these days – but it's not as easy to pull off as many imagine, says Dennis Ceru, an entrepreneurship professor at Babson College in Babson Park, Mass. Many consultants struggle with time management problems, spending so much time scouting work that it's very difficult to earn steady income. "The difficulty many face is they go through peaks and valleys of having work," says Prof. Ceru. "When the engagement ends, they are frantically looking for work," which may take weeks or months.

A possible solution: "A successful consulting firm needs people to find the work, grind out the work and mind the work. Unless you know you can do all three yourself, you potentially expose your business to great risk."

6. Franchise Ownership. The idea of being handed a proven business plan without the uncertainties and headaches that come with building a business from scratch is understandably alluring. But too many people don't understand the risks associated with franchising and sign restrictive franchise agreements without thoroughly researching their franchisor and their contractual obligations, says SCORE's Yancey.

Some franchisors, for instance, allow franchisees to open stores too close together, oversaturating the market. Or they simply require their franchisees pay so much in royalties and fees or other operational costs that it's very difficult to be profitable. Beyond that, when a franchisee fails, a franchisor may make it extremely difficult and costly to get out of its contract.

It's a myth that franchises are far more successful than independent businesses. A 1995 study by a researcher at Wayne State University found that 62% of franchises were open for business after four years, compared with 68% of independent businesses. And franchises were also found to be less profitable in those early years.

7. Traffic-Driven Web Sites. Everybody has witnessed the success of social-networking sites like Facebook and popular blogs that generate all their revenue off advertising. But as the Internet ages, that's much harder to accomplish, says Martin Zwilling, a start-up consultant in Fountain Hills, Ariz., who specializes in helping entrepreneurs find angel investors.

Zwilling says he hears pitches for new social-networking sites about once a week, but actively deters people from starting them. "I say, skip it," he says. "You need to invest $50 million to get any presence" in the social-networking space right now and it's very difficult to get people to leave established sites. What's more, he says, the amount of traffic needed to build a lucrative traffic-driven Web site is far more than most new Web entrepreneurs realize: "Until you get to the point where you have a million page views a day, you're nowhere."

yahoo!

New Zealand man's love runs deep in search for ring

Wed Aug 19, 11:26 pm ET
WELLINGTON (Reuters) – A New Zealand man has been dubbed the Lord of the Ring after he searched and found his wedding ring more than a year after it slipped off his finger and sank to the sea floor.

The ring was lost for 16 months in the harbor of the country's capital city, Wellington, before Aleki Taumoepeau found it shining on the sea floor, the DominionPost newspaper reported on Thursday.

"The whole top surface of the ring was glowing," Taumoepeau, an ecologist, said.

Taumoepeau had been married for just three months when he lost the wedding ring while conducting an environmental sweep of the harbor.

He roughly marked the spot where the ring had flown from his finger, but was unable to find it despite returning to the area many times.

Taumoepeau's wife offered to buy another ring, but he refused, pledging to find the ring.

But, equipped with new global satellite based coordinates and offering up a quick prayer, he found the ring after an hour's search.

"I couldn't believe that I could see the ring so perfectly," Taumoepeau said.

He said those with him on the boat at the time the ring flew off his finger had likened it to a similar, slow motion shot from The Lord of the Rings, much of which was filmed in Wellington by local director Peter Jackson.

(Reporting by Michael Dickison; Editing by Sanjeev Miglani)

Celebrity Business Busts

Celebrity Business Busts
by Katie Adams
Tuesday, August 18, 2009

provided by


If you're one of the thousands of small business owners and entrepreneurs who have had to close shop since the recession began you're in good company. And, although they probably have better hair than you do, more than a few celebrities have experienced personal business failures, too. Only they tend to have more to lose - and they have to eat way more crow.


The Real World

Lauren Conrad hoped to parlay her MTV "The Hills" fame into high fashion success, launching the Lauren Conrad Collection in March 2008. The new venture barely got off the ground; it was shut down this spring. At least she can take comfort in knowing that her famed "frenemy", Heidi Montag, suffered the same fate. Her barely-there clothing line - Heidiwood - also tanked just seven months after its launch.


Investors Put the Squeeze on Somersized Venture

Suzanne Somers, best known as the blond, beautiful and often bubble-headed "Chrissy" on the 1970s TV show Three's Company, made a bundle with her uber-successful Thigh Master, but didn't find as much support for "Suzanne's Kitchen" -- a make-it-yourself meal preparation franchise that provided ingredients and recipes from Somers' cookbooks. The business was open for less than three months before changes in the business plan and a disagreement with investors led to a quick closing.


Bo Derek Scores a Perfect Zero on Business Venture

Bo Derek may have been a "10" on-screen but she scored a big zero with former business investor Fort Worth Magnolia Media Group over her decision to abruptly drop a pet-care product business launch in 1998.


Car Dealership Runs Out the Clock

Former New Orleans Saint all-time rusher and two-time Pro Bowl star Deuce McAllister fumbled in business and was unable to bring his on-field success to his Nissan car dealership. The First Tennessee Bank foreclosed on the property in July, after McAllister defaulted on a loan and exceeded his credit line by $7 million. The dealership filed for Chapter 11 bankruptcy, and was subsequently sued by Nissan for breaking an agreement in which Nissan Finance would receive a certain amount of money for financing the dealership's cars.

A Chicken Only Kramer Could Love

Country musician Kenny Rogers has won numerous platinum records for crooning about losing love but it was chicken - roasted chicken - that caused him to lose a bundle in the late '90s. Even an entire Seinfeld episode devoted to Rogers' fast food chicken restaurant, Kenny Rogers Roasters, couldn't save the business from failing in 1998. It probably didn't help that Rogers failed to recognize his own chicken in a blind taste test between Kenny Rogers Roasters and NBC cafeteria chicken on The Late Show with Conan O'Brian in 1997.


Stick a Fork in It - It's Over

Britney Spears has dealt with a lot of criticism in her career but perhaps the most stinging was for her NYLA restaurant. The restaurant opened in New York's Dylan Hotel in 2002, and was supposed to mix Spears' down-home Southern roots with high-class New York fare. Unfortunately, NYLA floundered from the start, suffering management changes and health food violations. And the food? Picky New York reviewers were not impressed; they booed the food and the restaurant's concept. Spears walked away from NYLA in 2002.


"Posh" Jeans Fail to Appeal

Victoria Beckham is tentatively replacing Paula Abdul on "American Idol" but her line of jeans - dVb jeans - failed to impress consumers. The pricey vintage-style pants (think $300 for a pair of jeans) sat on shelves and were dropped by U.S. stores, which claimed that Beckham refused to make appearances to promote the line.


"Jenny from the Block" Backs Out

Jennifer Lopez ("JLo") is a mega recording star and big-ticket actress but she's faltered in a few other business ventures. Her California restaurant, Madres, shut its doors in July 2008 after a six-year run. Her street wear line of clothing - Sweetface - also halted production in 2009. This is the second clothing line that has sputtered for the pop star - her first line (JLO) closed in the U.S. more than two years ago.


Nicky Uh Oh...

You would think that someone with the last name Hilton - Nicky Hilton - would have the hotel business down to a science. You'd be wrong. Nick's "Nicky O" hotels, which boasted elevators entertainment news tickers in the elevators, a signature scent and rooms designed by friends - including $5,000-a-night penthouse by clothing designer Roberto Cavalli, went bankrupt in 2007; all Hilton was left with was angry investors. The courts got the properties, which were put up for auction.

It's a Bust for Da Bear's Quarterback

Former Chicago Bears quarterback Jim McMahon was part of the '80s Bears Super Bowl-winning team, but his themed restaurant, "McMahon's Steakhouse", failed to impress diners. At least he can take comfort in knowing that more than a few other Windy City celebs have "failed restaurateur" on their resumes, including Michael Jordan, Mike Ditka, Dennis Rodman, and the late Walter Payton.


Ramsay's Personal Kitchen Nightmare

Chef and TV star of "Hell's Kitchen" Gordon Ramsay is suffering through this recession like everyone else, although he's likely more vocal about it than most! His multistar restaurants across the U.S. and Europe aren't drawing the crowds they used to, forcing Ramsay to slash his staff and hand a few of his properties back to the hotels where they're housed. If that doesn't work, he's considering selling his palatial home in London to avoid having to file for bankruptcy.


No, YOU'RE Fired

While Donald Trump most recently gained fame by yelling "you're fired!" to his potential apprentices, Trump has had to walk away from a few jobs and business ventures himself. Most recently, he had to cancel publication of "Trump" magazine after two-year run and now he's fending off a lawsuit for allegedly letting his Marina Hotel Casino physically deteriorate after tentatively agreeing to sell it to investors as part of a restructuring agreement included in his Chapter 11 bankruptcy protection filing.


That's a Wrap!

Take a cue from these celebs and don't let one failure keep you down. Regroup and look for another opportunity to build a business of your own...you may just strike it big enough to become a celebrity in your own right!

How the Experts Care for Their Skin

By RealSimple.com

Top dermatologists and skin pros offer the tips, tricks, and products they love to get a healthy, glowing complexion.

Dermatologist Leslie Baumann, Miami Beach, Florida
Rely on retinoids: "Prescription retinoids or store-bought retinol creams are great anti-agers," she says. "Use a small amount [a pea-size dab every other night]. Then treat any dryness with a calming cream so you stick with it." She uses soothing (1) Atopalm MLE Intensive Moisturizing Cream.

Dermatologist Jeanine Downie, Montclair, New Jersey
Make sunscreen a done deal: "From January to December, rain or shine, and regardless of ethnicity, use sunblock every day," Downie says. Her pick: (2) Colorescience Suncanny foundation brush SPF 20, a portable protective powder that makes reapplication easy.

Dermatologist Doris Day, New York City
Use a two-pronged approach: "Make time to relax. Lowering stress helps your skin. Then get a good skin-care routine and practice it daily," says Day. She likes the Olay Professional Pro-X line, including the (3) Wrinkle Smoothing Cream, which uses peptides, and the Deep Wrinkle Treatment, which has retinol.

Makeup artist Carmindy, New York City
Treat eyes gently: "My grandmother taught me to use my ring finger to apply cosmetics around the eyes. It's a weak digit, so it won't pull or tug excessively," she says. Carmindy employs this technique with her favorite eye cream, (4) Garnier Nutritioniste Ultra-Lift Anti-Wrinkle Firming Eye Cream. Carmindy also says, "Every other day in the shower, I lather up with a liquid cleanser, then take a handful of white sugar and scrub in circular motions on my face and body. It makes my skin super-smooth."

Manicurist Jin Soon Choi, New York City
Keep skin supple: "Growing up in Korea, I learned to soak my hands and feet in warm water for 10 minutes and then use a dry cloth to scrub them. Afterward I apply (5)Tiger Balm and wear cotton gloves and socks to sleep. In the morning, I wake up with super-soft skin," says Choi.

Dermatologist Tina Alster, Washington, D.C.
"As a teenager, my grandmother taught me to make my skin-care routine work for me. I have more time in the morning, so I've learned to frontload my regimen and apply all my active ingredients after my shower and before makeup application. At night I use makeup remover and moisturizer. This system works for me and I don't spend too much time on my skin!" Product favorite: Lancôme Nutrix Soothing Treatment Cream.

Dermatologist Lisa Airan, New York City
"I love to use things that promote collagen and elastin production and that reverse sun damage. Right now I like the GentleWaves LED procedure, which is a device with a series of lights. You sit in front of it and it makes your skin look better, fresher, and a little more even-toned. It gives you that elusive glow that everyone talks about." Product favorite: SkinMedica TNS Recovery Complex.

Manicurist Cheryl Scruggs, Beverly Hills
"I was always told to treat my feet like my face. That means cleansing at least once a day, using a brush for toenails, exfoliating once a week, and moisturizing every night before bed. I've done this my whole life and it keeps your feet looking pretty." Product favorite: CND Cucumber Heel Therapy, $ 20, cnd.com for stores.

Eat Right Without Thinking

By Tamar Haspel, Women's Health
From the instructions for some diets, you'd think losing weight was more complicated than calibrating a sextant against Orion on a cloudy night. The food diaries you need to write; the nutrition labels you need to read and pronounce and translate; the protein, fat, and carbohydrate grams you have to add up. It's time to try an easier way. No math, no more squinting at the fine print and trying to decipher those words with no vowels. Instead, just 20 everyday tactics that will get you started on your weight-loss plan and then help you stick to it. Soon enough, your diet will simply become the way you eat.

1. Always eat dessert. Yes, always. "A small amount can signal that the meal is over," says Barbara Rolls, Ph.D., author of The Volumetrics Eating Plan. She ends her meals with a piece of quality chocolate and she's a doctor.

2. Get help from a paper napkin. You can use it to blot a teaspoon of fat off a pizza slice. That may not sound like a lot, but multiply it by a slice a week, and that's more than a whole cup of fat you won't eat or wear this year.

3. Take the beltway. When junk food beckons, tighten your belt a notch. Not so you can't breathe, but so you have a gentle reminder of the size you'd like to be. "The scale isn't the only measure of weight," says Roberta Anding, R.D., a spokeswoman for the American Dietetic Association.

4. Go public. Enlist the help of friends, family, and coworkers and know they're watching. "The power of embarrassment is greater than willpower," says Stephen Gullo, Ph.D., author of The Thin Commandments.

5. Milk it for all it's worth. Consuming 1,800 milligrams of calcium a day could block the absorption of about 80 calories, according to a recent University of Tennessee study. Jump-start your calcium intake by filling your coffee mug with skim or 1 percent milk, drinking it down to the level you want in your coffee, then pouring in your caffeine fix. That's 300 mg down, 1,500 to go.

6. Scrape by. Always order your bagel or burger with a plastic knife. Use it to scrape off the excess cream cheese and mayo. You could shave off as many as half the calories.

7. Spice things up. Capsaicin, the substance that puts the hot in hot pepper, temporarily boosts your metabolism. Just make sure you're drinking a yogurt lassi with that searing-hot chicken vindaloo. Dairy blocks capsaicin's sweat-inducing signals better than water.

8. Case the organic section. That's where you're likely to find bread and cereal with fiber counts that put the conventional choices to shame. Thought you were doing well with your 3-grams-per-serving Cheerios? Nature's Path Slim blows it away with 10 g. (And it really doesn't taste like a shredded shoebox.)

9. Increase your a-peel. Speaking of fiber, a lot of it's in the peel, whether it's potatoes, apples, or pears. Even oranges don't eat the whole peel, but keep the pith, that white stringy stuff; it's packed with flavonoids. More nutrients, more fiber, less labor. It's a win-win-win.

10. Spend lavishly on precut vegetables at the supermarket. Sure, they cost more, but you're more likely to eat them. "Make low-energy snacks as easy as possible," Dr. Rolls says. "Keep vegetables as near to hand as you can. Make it so you have no excuse."

11. Upgrade your restaurant selection. Pick a place where you'll actually want to linger. "When the meals are not hurried, the presentation is beautiful and the portions are reasonable so you can regulate your attitude," Anding says. That means your body not the empty plate will tell you when to stop.

12. Eat a snack at 3 p.m., no matter what. "Have a 150-calorie snack [now], and it can save you 400 calories later," Anding says. An ounce of nuts or two sticks of string cheese weigh in at about 170 calories.

13. Drink with your dominant hand. If you're circulating at a party, Dr. Rolls suggests keeping your glass in the hand you eat with. If you're drinking with it, you can't eat with it, can you?

14. Plate it. Whatever it is, don't eat it out of the container and don't bring the container to the couch. "Part of satiety is visual," Anding says. "Your brain actually has to see the food on the plate, and when you reach into the jar, or the box, or the bag, you don't see it." If it's worth eating, put it on a plate. Eat what's there, then stop.

15. Send back the bread. All it takes is a wave of the hand, a smile, and a "No, thank you."

16. Start with salad. It's the holy grail of dieting eat less by eating more. Dr. Rolls's research has found that eating a salad as a first course decreased total lunch calories by 12 percent. Avoid the croutons and creamy dressings, which have the opposite effect.

17. Go out for ice cream. Or an eclair. Or even guacamole and chips. Just go out. Don't keep your danger foods in the house. You can't eat half of a carton of ice cream that's not there in the first place.

18. Give yourself a hand. Find a way other than food to work off your nervous energy. "It's behavior modification," Anding says. "Instead of grabbing a bag of chips, you pick up your knitting. Art works, woodworking works anything that occupies your hands."

19. Wait a minute. Well, 10 minutes. When your mind strays from your desk to the vending machine, it could be hunger or it could be boredom or irritation with your boss. If you're still thinking about snacking 10 minutes later, then you're probably hungry. Think of it as a chance to have one of the nine servings of fruits and vegetables you need each day.

20. Go wild once in a while. Deprivation won't make you thin or happy. Designate a meal or two a week when you can eat absolutely anything you want.

Related Link

* A new diet from Oprah's trainer. Bob Greene's Best Life Diet. Start enjoying your best life today! Go now for your Risk-FREE 10-day trial!

Last Updated: 12/01/2006 09:18:26

5-year old chef julian kreusser

big kitchen with food

Easy Ways to Spice Up Your Rice

Rice doesn't have to be a bore. With little effort, it can be the star of your meal. Here are four delicious and easy rice recipes that come from Mexico, South Africa, and India. They're a great way to add a little fun to everyday dinners.

Try these with grilled or broiled chicken, fish, beef, or pork and a nice, big salad.

Arroz Verde
Serves 4

3 1/2 cups chicken broth or water
2 chopped poblano peppers, stems, and seeds removed
1 chopped jalapeno or serrano pepper, stems, and seeds removed
2 chopped scallions
½ cup chopped fresh cilantro
½ cup chopped fresh parsley
1½ teaspoon salt
3 tbsp vegetable oil
3 cloves garlic, peeled, and finely chopped
2 cups long-grain rice
Juice of 1 lime

1. Place the peppers, scallions, parsley, cilantro, garlic, and salt in a blender and process until smooth. Add a little water if needed.

2. Heat the oil in a large saucepan. Add the rice and stir to coat all the grains. Cook, stirring for about 2 minutes more.

3. Add the ingredients from the blender to the rice and stir two more minutes, to incorporate well.

4. Add the chicken broth or water, and reduce the heat to low. Cover and cook until the water is absorbed, about 15 minutes.

5. Turn the heat off and stir in the lime juice, making sure it's evenly dispersed.


Mexican Red Rice
Serves 6

2 cups long-grain white rice
3 tablespoons vegetable oil
3 cloves finely chopped garlic
3/4 cup finely chopped onion
1/2 cup finely chopped green pepper
1 28-ounce can diced tomatoes
Approximately 3 cups chicken broth or water
1 teaspoon ground cumin
2 teaspoons salt

1. Heat the vegetable oil in a wide pot.

2. When hot, add the chopped garlic, onion, and green pepper. Cook over medium heat, until theonion turns translucent, but not brown.

3. Add the rice and stir to coat. Cook approximately 3 minutes, stirring constantly.

4. Add the diced tomatoes. (Reserve the liquid.)

5. Measure the remaining tomato liquid from the can and add enough chicken broth to equal 4 cups total.

6. Add the liquid, salt, and ground cumin to the pot. Stir and cover. Simmer over medium-low heat approximately 20 minutes, until liquid is absorbed.


South African Yellow Rice With Cinnamon and Raisins
4-6 servings

3 tbsp vegetable oil
2 cups long grain white rice
2 sticks cinnamon
2 tablespoons brown sugar
1 ½ teaspoons salt
1 teaspoon turmeric
1 cup raisins
3 ½ cups water

1. Heat the oil in a medium-size saucepan. Add the rice, and stir to coat completely. Add the remaining ingredients, bring to a boil, cover, and let simmer over low heat until all the water is absorbed.

Adapted from Mark Hennegan


Indian Lemon Rice With Ginger and Peanuts
4-6 servings

2 cups basmati rice
3 cups water
1 teaspoon salt
1 tablespoon vegetable oil
2 teaspoons black mustard seeds (or white if unavailable)
1 tablespoon minced, peeled fresh ginger
½ cup finely chopped, salted, roasted peanuts
½ teaspoon turmeric
3 tablespoons fresh lemon juice
1 tablespoon of fresh grated lemon zest or peel

1. Rinse the rice and drain. Bring the rice, water, and salt to a boil and cook over low heat, until all the water is absorbed. Remove from heat and let stand, covered, for 10 minutes. Fluff the rice with a fork.

2. Heat the oil in a 12-inch frying pan over moderately high heat. Cook the mustard seeds, stirring until the seeds begin to pop. Add the ginger and peanuts, and stir another 2 minutes. Add the turmeric, and stir one minute more.

3. Add the spice mixture to the cooked rice and mix thoroughly.

4. Stir in the lemon juice and sprinkle with the lemon zest.

Adapted from Shoba Narayan

Love, Lust and Marriage

HOW TO DIFFERENTIATE BETWEEN LOVE, LUST AND MARRIAGE...


LOVE when your eyes meet across a crowded room
LUST when your tongues meet across a crowded room
MARRIAGE when your belt won't meet around your waist, and you don't care

LOVE when intercourse is called making love
LUST all other times
MARRIAGE what's intercourse?

LOVE when you argue over how many children to have
LUST When you argue over who gets the wet spot
MARRIAGE when you argue over money

LOVE when you share everything you own
LUST when you think twice about giving your partner bus money
MARRIAGE when the bank owns everything

LOVE when it doesn't matter if you don't climax
LUST when the relationship is over if you don't climax
MARRIAGE what's a climax?

LOVE when you phone each other just to say "Hi"
LUST when you phone each other just to organize sex
MARRIAGE when you phone each other to find out what time your son's game starts

LOVE when you write poems about your partner
LUST when all you write is your phone number
MARRIAGE when all you write are check's

LOVE when you show concern for your partners' feelings
LUST when you couldn't give a rip
MARRIAGE when your only concern is what's on TV

LOVE when your farewell is "I love you darling"
LUST when your farewell is "So, same time next week?"
MARRIAGE when your farewell is silent

LOVE when you are proud to be seen in public with your partner
LUST when you only ever see each other in the bedroom
MARRIAGE when you never see each other awake

LOVE when your heart flutters every time you see them
LUST when your groin twitches every time you see them
MARRIAGE when your wallet empties every time you see them

LOVE when nobody else matters
LUST when nobody else knows
MARRIAGE when everybody else matters and you don't care who knows

LOVE when all the songs on the radio describe exactly how you feel
LUST when it's just the same mushy old crap
MARRIAGE when you never listen to music

LOVE when breaking up is something you try not to think about
LUST when staying together is something you try not to think about
MARRIAGE when just getting through today is your only thought

LOVE when you're interested in everything your partner does
LUST when you're only interested in one thing
MARRIAGE when you're not interested in what your partner does and the one thing you're interested in is your golf score

Cupid's Best Brownies

Recipe Provided By: Kraftfoods.com
Prep Time 15 min.
Cook Time 1 hr. 35 min.
Serves 24



Ingredients
4 (1 ounce) squares BAKER'S Unsweetened Baking Chocolate
3/4 cup butter
2 cups sugar
3 eggs
1 teaspoon vanilla
1 cup flour
1 cup coarsely chopped PLANTERS Walnuts
1 cup ready-to-spread vanilla frosting
1/4 cup multi-colored sprinkles


Cooking Directions
Preheat oven to 350 degrees F. Line 13x9-inch baking pan with foil, with ends of foil extending over sides of pan. Grease foil. Microwave chocolate and butter in large microwaveable bowl on HIGH 2 min. or until butter is melted. Stir until chocolate is completely melted. Add sugar; mix well. Blend in eggs and vanilla. Stir in flour and walnuts until well blended. Spread batter into prepared pan.
Bake 30 to 35 min. or until toothpick inserted in center comes out with fudgy crumbs. (Do not overbake.) Cool in pan.

Lift brownies from pan onto cutting board, using foil handles. Cut into heart shapes using 2-inch cookie cutter. Reserve scraps for snacking or other use. (See Tip.) Decorate heart cutouts with the frosting and sprinkles.
Yield: 24 servings

Still Hungry?
Turn rich brownies into romantic treats by cutting them into heart shapes with a cookie cutter and decorating with melted white chocolate and candies.

Notes:
Size-Wise

Looking for a special treat? One brownie is all that is needed to satisfy that chocolate craving.

Substitute

Substitute 13x9-inch glass baking dish for the baking pan. Prepare brownie batter and bake as directed, reducing oven temperature to 325 degrees F.

Potato Mash with Mix-Ins

Ingredients2 pounds large russet potatoes, washed and peeled
Kosher salt
1/2 cup whole milk
3 tablespoons unsalted butter
Freshly ground pepper
Nutrition InfoPer Serving

Calories: 274 kcal
Carbohydrates: 42 g
Dietary Fiber: 5 g
Fat: 9 g
Protein: 5 g
Sugars: 3 g
About: Nutrition Info

Powered by: ESHA Nutrient Database


Cooking Directions
Fill a large saucepan one-third full with cold water. Cut the potatoes into quarters and add them to the saucepan. Cover the potatoes with 1 more inch of water and add 1 tablespoon of salt. Cover the saucepan and bring to a boil, then uncover, reduce the heat and simmer the potatoes until easily pierced with a knife, about 15 minutes; drain.
In the same saucepan, heat the milk, butter and a pinch of salt and pepper until the milk is steaming. Remove from the heat. Add the potatoes and mash. Season the mashed potatoes to taste with salt and pepper. Serve with your choice of mix-ins.
Yield: 4 servings

Still Hungry?
Meet your mash: Mix in bacon and cheddar, garlic and fresh basil or sour cream and chives.

Notes:
MIX-INS

BACON AND CHEDDAR - Before mashing all of the ingredients together, add 3 slices of crisp, crumbled bacon and 1 1/2 cups of shredded cheddar or other strong-flavored cheese, such as Gruyere or blue cheese.

GARLIC AND FRESH BASIL - Before preparing the potatoes, bring the milk to a low simmer, then add 4 peeled, smashed garlic cloves and cook over low heat for 20 minutes. Before mashing the potatoes, add the garlic, milk and 1/4 cup of chopped fresh basil to the potatoes.

SOUR CREAM AND CHIVES - Before mashing all of the ingredients together, add 1/2 cup of sour cream and 1/4 cup of chopped fresh chives.

From Every Day with Rachael Ray, April - May 2006, submitted by Mindy Fox.

Pizza Cobbler

Ingredients
1 tablespoon extra virgin olive oil
1 cup chopped onion
2 cloves garlic, smashed and peeled
1 (8 ounce) package sliced mushrooms
1 1/2 cups tomato sauce
1/2 cup sliced black olives
2/3 cup sliced pepperoni
1 cup shredded mozzarella cheese
1 (7.5 ounce) package refrigerated biscuits, separated and cut into quarters

Nutrition InfoPer Serving
Calories: 540 kcal
Carbohydrates: 39 g
Dietary Fiber: 4 g
Fat: 34 g
Protein: 21 g
Sugars: 11 g
About: Nutrition Info

Cooking Directions
Preheat the oven to 400 degrees F. In a large skillet, combine the oil, onion and garlic and cook on medium-high heat, stirring occasionally, for 2 minutes. Add the mushrooms and cook until tender, about 5 minutes. Stir in the tomato sauce and olives and bring to a simmer.
Spread the sauce mixture in a greased 2-quart baking dish. Arrange the pepperoni in a single layer on top and sprinkle with the cheese. Top with the biscuit pieces. Bake until the cheese is bubbly and the biscuits are browned, about 15 minutes. Let cool for about 5 minutes before serving.
Yield: 4 servings

source: http://food.yahoo.com/recipes/rachael-ray/137715/pizza-cobbler/

rude girl TUYO got BOOed in the Sinulog Festival in Cebu

Marian Rivera NAPAHIYA sa SINULOG 2009, BOO from the PEOPLE
PhilippineTVnews of youtube
January 20, 2009


my piece of thought:
how rude is this girl? she's on a JAG float but se waved the kapuso flaglet. her co-endorser will devaughn is a kapamilya but did not wave a kapamilya flag. unethical that she is, she hasn't even realized that the land she is parading in is a kapamilya county. no wonder she got BOOed! BOOhoo beeatch! bleeh!

Obama takes presidential oath again after stumble

Getty
Wed Jan 21, 10:42 PM ET


Chief Justice John G. Roberts Jr. administers the oath of office to President Barack Obama a second time in the Map Room of the White House January 21, 2009 in Washington, DC. Today was the president's first full day in office.

(Pete Souza/The White House via Getty Images)

Obama takes presidential oath again after stumble
Wed Jan 21, 9:24 pm ET

WASHINGTON – After the flub heard around the world, President Barack Obama has taken the oath of office. Again. Chief Justice John Roberts delivered the oath to Obama on Wednesday night at the White House — a rare do-over. The surprise moment came in response to Tuesday's much-noticed stumble, when Roberts got the words of the oath a little off, which prompted Obama to do so, too.

Don't worry, the White House says: Obama has still been president since noon on Inauguration Day.

Nevertheless, Obama and Roberts went through the drill again out of what White House counsel Greg Craig called "an abundance of caution."

This time, the scene was the White House Map Room in front of a small group of reporters, not the Capitol platform before the whole watching world.

"We decided that because it was so much fun ...," Obama joked to reporters who followed press secretary Robert Gibbs into the room. No TV camera crews or news photographers were allowed in. A few of Obama's closest aides were there, along with a White House photographer.

Roberts put on his black robe.

"Are you ready to take the oath?" he said.

"Yes, I am," Obama said. "And we're going to do it very slowly."

Roberts then led Obama through the oath without any missteps.

The president said he did not have his Bible with him, but that the oath was binding anyway.

The original, bungled version on Tuesday caught observers by surprise and then got replayed on cable news shows.

It happened when Obama interrupted Roberts midway through the opening line, in which the president repeats his name and solemnly swears.

Next in the oath is the phrase " ... that I will faithfully execute the office of president of the United States." But Roberts rearranged the order of the words, not saying "faithfully" until after "president of the United States."

That appeared to throw Obama off. He stopped abruptly at the word "execute."

Recognizing something was off, Roberts then repeated the phrase, putting "faithfully" in the right place but without repeating "execute."

But Obama then repeated Roberts' original, incorrect version: "... the office of president of the United States faithfully."

Craig, the White House lawyer, said in a statement Wednesday evening: "We believe the oath of office was administered effectively and that the president was sworn in appropriately yesterday. Yet the oath appears in the Constitution itself. And out of the abundance of caution, because there was one word out of sequence, Chief Justice John Roberts will administer the oath a second time."

The Constitution is clear about the exact wording of the oath and as a result, some constitutional experts have said that a do-over probably wasn't necessary but also couldn't hurt. Two other previous presidents have repeated the oath because of similar issues, Calvin Coolidge and Chester A. Arthur.

__

Associated Press writer Phil Elliott contributed to this report.

Text of President Barack Obama's inaugural address (Associated Press)

Barack Obama takes the oath of office to become the 44th president of the United States in Washington, Tuesday, Jan. 20, 2009.
(AP Photo/Robert Glass)











Text of President Barack Obama's inaugural address
By The Associated Press

Text of President Barack Obama's inaugural address on Tuesday, as prepared for delivery and released by the Presidential Inaugural Committee.

OBAMA: My fellow citizens:

I stand here today humbled by the task before us, grateful for the trust you have bestowed, mindful of the sacrifices borne by our ancestors. I thank President Bush for his service to our nation, as well as the generosity and cooperation he has shown throughout this transition.

Forty-four Americans have now taken the presidential oath. The words have been spoken during rising tides of prosperity and the still waters of peace. Yet, every so often the oath is taken amidst gathering clouds and raging storms. At these moments, America has carried on not simply because of the skill or vision of those in high office, but because we the people have remained faithful to the ideals of our forebears, and true to our founding documents.

So it has been. So it must be with this generation of Americans.

That we are in the midst of crisis is now well understood. Our nation is at war, against a far-reaching network of violence and hatred. Our economy is badly weakened, a consequence of greed and irresponsibility on the part of some, but also our collective failure to make hard choices and prepare the nation for a new age. Homes have been lost; jobs shed; businesses shuttered. Our health care is too costly; our schools fail too many; and each day brings further evidence that the ways we use energy strengthen our adversaries and threaten our planet.

These are the indicators of crisis, subject to data and statistics. Less measurable but no less profound is a sapping of confidence across our land — a nagging fear that America's decline is inevitable, and that the next generation must lower its sights.

Today I say to you that the challenges we face are real. They are serious and they are many. They will not be met easily or in a short span of time. But know this, America — they will be met.

On this day, we gather because we have chosen hope over fear, unity of purpose over conflict and discord.

On this day, we come to proclaim an end to the petty grievances and false promises, the recriminations and worn out dogmas, that for far too long have strangled our politics.

We remain a young nation, but in the words of Scripture, the time has come to set aside childish things. The time has come to reaffirm our enduring spirit; to choose our better history; to carry forward that precious gift, that noble idea, passed on from generation to generation: the God-given promise that all are equal, all are free and all deserve a chance to pursue their full measure of happiness.

In reaffirming the greatness of our nation, we understand that greatness is never a given. It must be earned. Our journey has never been one of shortcuts or settling for less. It has not been the path for the faint-hearted — for those who prefer leisure over work, or seek only the pleasures of riches and fame. Rather, it has been the risk-takers, the doers, the makers of things — some celebrated but more often men and women obscure in their labor, who have carried us up the long, rugged path towards prosperity and freedom.

For us, they packed up their few worldly possessions and traveled across oceans in search of a new life.

For us, they toiled in sweatshops and settled the West; endured the lash of the whip and plowed the hard earth.

For us, they fought and died, in places like Concord and Gettysburg; Normandy and Khe Sahn.

Time and again these men and women struggled and sacrificed and worked till their hands were raw so that we might live a better life. They saw America as bigger than the sum of our individual ambitions; greater than all the differences of birth or wealth or faction.

This is the journey we continue today. We remain the most prosperous, powerful nation on Earth. Our workers are no less productive than when this crisis began. Our minds are no less inventive, our goods and services no less needed than they were last week or last month or last year. Our capacity remains undiminished. But our time of standing pat, of protecting narrow interests and putting off unpleasant decisions — that time has surely passed. Starting today, we must pick ourselves up, dust ourselves off, and begin again the work of remaking America.

For everywhere we look, there is work to be done. The state of the economy calls for action, bold and swift, and we will act — not only to create new jobs, but to lay a new foundation for growth. We will build the roads and bridges, the electric grids and digital lines that feed our commerce and bind us together. We will restore science to its rightful place, and wield technology's wonders to raise health care's quality and lower its cost. We will harness the sun and the winds and the soil to fuel our cars and run our factories. And we will transform our schools and colleges and universities to meet the demands of a new age. All this we can do. All this we will do.

Now, there are some who question the scale of our ambitions — who suggest that our system cannot tolerate too many big plans. Their memories are short. For they have forgotten what this country has already done; what free men and women can achieve when imagination is joined to common purpose, and necessity to courage.

What the cynics fail to understand is that the ground has shifted beneath them — that the stale political arguments that have consumed us for so long no longer apply. The question we ask today is not whether our government is too big or too small, but whether it works — whether it helps families find jobs at a decent wage, care they can afford, a retirement that is dignified. Where the answer is yes, we intend to move forward. Where the answer is no, programs will end. Those of us who manage the public's dollars will be held to account — to spend wisely, reform bad habits, and do our business in the light of day — because only then can we restore the vital trust between a people and their government.

Nor is the question before us whether the market is a force for good or ill. Its power to generate wealth and expand freedom is unmatched, but this crisis has reminded us that without a watchful eye, the market can spin out of control — and that a nation cannot prosper long when it favors only the prosperous. The success of our economy has always depended not just on the size of our gross domestic product, but on the reach of our prosperity; on our ability to extend opportunity to every willing heart — not out of charity, but because it is the surest route to our common good.

As for our common defense, we reject as false the choice between our safety and our ideals. Our founding fathers ... our found fathers, faced with perils we can scarcely imagine, drafted a charter to assure the rule of law and the rights of man, a charter expanded by the blood of generations. Those ideals still light the world, and we will not give them up for expedience's sake. And so to all the other peoples and governments who are watching today, from the grandest capitals to the small village where my father was born: know that America is a friend of each nation and every man, woman, and child who seeks a future of peace and dignity, and that we are ready to lead once more.

Recall that earlier generations faced down fascism and communism not just with missiles and tanks, but with sturdy alliances and enduring convictions. They understood that our power alone cannot protect us, nor does it entitle us to do as we please. Instead, they knew that our power grows through its prudent use; our security emanates from the justness of our cause, the force of our example, the tempering qualities of humility and restraint.

We are the keepers of this legacy. Guided by these principles once more, we can meet those new threats that demand even greater effort — even greater cooperation and understanding between nations. We will begin to responsibly leave Iraq to its people, and forge a hard-earned peace in Afghanistan. With old friends and former foes, we will work tirelessly to lessen the nuclear threat, and roll back the specter of a warming planet. We will not apologize for our way of life, nor will we waver in its defense, and for those who seek to advance their aims by inducing terror and slaughtering innocents, we say to you now that our spirit is stronger and cannot be broken; you cannot outlast us, and we will defeat you.

For we know that our patchwork heritage is a strength, not a weakness. We are a nation of Christians and Muslims, Jews and Hindus — and non-believers. We are shaped by every language and culture, drawn from every end of this Earth; and because we have tasted the bitter swill of civil war and segregation, and emerged from that dark chapter stronger and more united, we cannot help but believe that the old hatreds shall someday pass; that the lines of tribe shall soon dissolve; that as the world grows smaller, our common humanity shall reveal itself; and that America must play its role in ushering in a new era of peace.

To the Muslim world, we seek a new way forward, based on mutual interest and mutual respect. To those leaders around the globe who seek to sow conflict, or blame their society's ills on the West — know that your people will judge you on what you can build, not what you destroy. To those who cling to power through corruption and deceit and the silencing of dissent, know that you are on the wrong side of history; but that we will extend a hand if you are willing to unclench your fist.

To the people of poor nations, we pledge to work alongside you to make your farms flourish and let clean waters flow; to nourish starved bodies and feed hungry minds. And to those nations like ours that enjoy relative plenty, we say we can no longer afford indifference to the suffering outside our borders; nor can we consume the world's resources without regard to effect. For the world has changed, and we must change with it.

As we consider the road that unfolds before us, we remember with humble gratitude those brave Americans who, at this very hour, patrol far-off deserts and distant mountains. They have something to tell us, just as the fallen heroes who lie in Arlington whisper through the ages. We honor them not only because they are guardians of our liberty, but because they embody the spirit of service; a willingness to find meaning in something greater than themselves. And yet, at this moment — a moment that will define a generation — it is precisely this spirit that must inhabit us all.

For as much as government can do and must do, it is ultimately the faith and determination of the American people upon which this nation relies. It is the kindness to take in a stranger when the levees break, the selflessness of workers who would rather cut their hours than see a friend lose their job which sees us through our darkest hours. It is the firefighter's courage to storm a stairway filled with smoke, but also a parent's willingness to nurture a child, that finally decides our fate.

Our challenges may be new. The instruments with which we meet them may be new. But those values upon which our success depends — hard work and honesty, courage and fair play, tolerance and curiosity, loyalty and patriotism — these things are old. These things are true. They have been the quiet force of progress throughout our history. What is demanded then is a return to these truths. What is required of us now is a new era of responsibility — a recognition, on the part of every American, that we have duties to ourselves, our nation, and the world, duties that we do not grudgingly accept but rather seize gladly, firm in the knowledge that there is nothing so satisfying to the spirit, so defining of our character, than giving our all to a difficult task.

This is the price and the promise of citizenship.

This is the source of our confidence — the knowledge that God calls on us to shape an uncertain destiny.

This is the meaning of our liberty and our creed — why men and women and children of every race and every faith can join in celebration across this magnificent Mall, and why a man whose father less than sixty years ago might not have been served at a local restaurant can now stand before you to take a most sacred oath.

So let us mark this day with remembrance, of who we are and how far we have traveled. In the year of America's birth, in the coldest of months, a small band of patriots huddled by dying campfires on the shores of an icy river. The capital was abandoned. The enemy was advancing. The snow was stained with blood. At a moment when the outcome of our revolution was most in doubt, the father of our nation ordered these words be read to the people:

"Let it be told to the future world ... that in the depth of winter, when nothing but hope and virtue could survive...that the city and the country, alarmed at one common danger, came forth to meet (it)."

America, in the face of our common dangers, in this winter of our hardship, let us remember these timeless words. With hope and virtue, let us brave once more the icy currents, and endure what storms may come. Let it be said by our children's children that when we were tested we refused to let this journey end, that we did not turn back nor did we falter; and with eyes fixed on the horizon and God's grace upon us, we carried forth that great gift of freedom and delivered it safely to future generations.

Thank you. God bless you. And God bless the United States of America.

The Perfect Bacon Mac 'n' Cheese Dinner

The Perfect Bacon Mac 'n' Cheese Dinner
Posted Wed, Sep 03, 2008, 4:12 pm PDT

I was just visiting my sisters and their kids in Sweden. Whenever I'm there, my nieces and nephews want to hear about what's going on in America -- the fashions, the music, and the latest movies.

Normally, I make them hamburgers, but on this visit, I decided that I'd introduce them to some new authentic American food. I whipped up a killer batch of macaroni and cheese, and all the kids -- ranging in age from 5-18 -- loved it.

Try it for your own kids -- or even a special grown up.

Marcus's Mac and Cheese

salt
1 pound uncooked macaroni
6 slices bacon, chopped
3 garlic cloves
1 red onion, chopped
1 1/2 cups cream
3 cups water
1 cup shredded cheddar cheese
2 egg yolks
butter for greasing the pan
breadcrumbs
1 cup grated Parmesan cheese

1. Preheat the oven to 350 degrees F.

2. Bring a large pot of salted water to a boil. Add the macaroni and cook until al dente. Drain and set aside.

3. Heat a medium skillet over medium heat. Add the bacon and cook until really crispy, about 15 minutes. Remove with a slotted spoon and set to the side on paper towels to drain. Reserve the fat in the pan.

4. Return the pan to medium heat and add the garlic and onions. Cook until the garlic is golden and the onions are translucent. Remove the garlic and onions with a slotted spoon and set in a bowl to the side.

5. Combine the cream and water in a medium saucepan and bring to a simmer. Remove from heat and stir in the cheddar cheese. Stir until melted. Beat in the egg yolks.

6. Butter an 8x8 baking dish and sprinkle with breadcrumbs. Stir the cheese sauce into the cooked macaroni and combine well. Mix in the bacon, garlic, and onions. Transfer to the prepared baking dish and sprinkle with the Parmesan cheese. Bake until hot and bubbly, about 15 minutes.

Delicious French Potato Latkes

Delicious French Potato Latkes
Posted Tue, Dec 23, 2008, 5:45 pm PST

My favorite thing to do on a Sunday morning in Paris is to visit the Boulevard Raspail organic farmer's market. The potato pancake vendor there makes the most delicious potato pancakes, using French Comte cheese, which holds the shredded potatoes together. Comte is like Swiss cheese, with a subtle, nutty flavor. If you can't find Comte for this recipe (which should be available at most gourmet cheese departments of grocery stores), substitute shredded Swiss or Gruyere. This recipe is a special twist on more traditional potato latkes served for Channukah. I always like applesauce as an accompaniment. Enjoy!

Parisian-Style Potato Latkes
(serves 6)

2 pounds potatoes (Russet or Yukon Gold)
1 medium-size onion
1 egg, beaten
1/2 teaspoon salt
1 cup shredded French Comte cheese (Gruyere or Swiss)
Vegetable oil for frying


1. Peel the potatoes and shred in a food processor or with a hand grater.

2. Place the shredded potatoes over a fine mesh strainer or a double layer of cheesecloth. Over a medium-size bowl, squeeze as much water as possible from the potatoes. Let the potato water settle in the bowl for a few minutes. Then pour off the potato water, but keep the potato starch that will settle on the bottom.

3. Grate the onion.

4. Add the shredded potatoes, grated onion, beaten egg, and salt to the bowl with the residual potato starch.

5. Heat a griddle or frying pan and add enough oil to coat the bottom. Drop 1 heaping tablespoon for small pancakes or 2 heaping tablespoons for larger pancakes, onto the surface. Flatten each pancake as much as possible (leave room in the pan to do so). Fry the pancakes until they turn a deep golden brown on the bottom. Then flip them over and fry on the other side. Repeat and add more vegetable oil as needed.

6. The pancakes are best served right away. You can also make them in advance. Keep them in the refrigerator and later reheat on baking sheets at 350 degrees.

French Fries and Spicy Salsa

Today's Fusion Cooking: French Fries and Spicy Salsa
Posted Fri, Aug 17, 2007, 6:32 pm PDT

Fusion was the big buzz word in food in the '90s, but it's actually been around for much much longer. In fact, founding father Thomas Jefferson was also a founder of American fusion cuisine. Jefferson became smitten with French cooking while he was the American ambassador in Paris. He loved it so much that when he returned to Virginia, he brought a French chef with him to serve his guests ice cream, peach flambé, macaroons, and other Continental delights. But he also loved Southern cooking, so he had two young girls working in the kitchen with his classically trained chef to incorporate elements of American food into the menus -- like using peanuts in sauces, a tradition that harkens back to the West African cooking that is at the soul of Southern cooking.

Jefferson was one of the first to serve French fries in America. Today, I share with you my recipe for French fries, which takes fusion one step further to incorporate yet another culture -- in place of the standard accompaniment of ketchup, I like my fries with a spicy salsa. Enjoy!


Fries with Salsa

4 servings

3 Idaho potatoes, cut lengthwise into 1/4-inch pieces
3 cups grapeseed oil
1 tablespoon chopped parsley
1/2 teaspoon salt
1/2 teaspoon mild chili powder
1 teaspoon smoked paprika
1 teaspoon cornstarch
2 tablespoons chickpea flour
Salsa

Rinse the potatoes under cold running water for 20 minutes. Strain and pat dry.

Combine the cornstarch and chickpea flour in a large bowl. Add the potatoes and toss to coat.

Heat the oil in a Dutch over or other large pot to 350 degrees F. Working in batches to avoid overcrowding, add the potatoes and fry until golden and cooked through, about 5 minutes. Remove from oil and toss with parsley, salt, chili powder, and paprika. Serve with salsa.

Grilled Tomato Salsa

6 tomatoes, divided
2 red chili pepper
1 red pepper
2 cloves garlic
3/4 cup olive oil
Juice from 2 limes
2 anchovies, finely chopped
2 scallions, finely chopped
1 tablespoon chopped cilantro
1 tablespoon chopped parsley
Black pepper and salt

Preheat the oven to 450 degrees F.

Brush 3 of the tomatoes, the chilies, the red pepper, and the garlic with the olive oil and spread in a single layer on a sheet pan. Roast for 12 minutes, then remove from oven. When cooked enough to handle, roughly chop.

Chop the remaining tomatoes into a fine dice. Toss in a large bowl with the lime juice, anchovy, scallion, and cilantro. Add the roasted vegetables and parsley. Season with salt and pepper.

VOTE FOR PAELO!

please vote for my friend paelo's entry to Lee's Make History Photo Contest. Click on the link to his multiply site for details.

http://entropicmind.multiply.com/photos/album/271/My_Lee_Make_History_Entry



RIGHT TO MUSIC

freedom of expression. Just express your soul.

Forrest Gump Meets St. Peter

The day finally arrived; Forrest Gump dies and goes to Heaven. He is at the Pearly Gates, met by St. Peter himself. However, the gates are closed and Forrest approaches the Gatekeeper. St. Peter says, "Well, Forrest, it's certainly good to see you. We have heard a lot about you. I must tell you, though, that the place is filling up fast, and we've been administering an entrance examination for everyone. The test is short, but you have to pass it before you can get into Heaven"

Forrest responds, "It shor is good to be here , St. Peter, sir. But nobody ever tolt me about any entrance exam. Shor hope the test ain't too hard; life was a big enough test as it was."

St. Peter goes on, "Yes, I know, Forrest, but the test is only three
questions.

First: What two days of the week begin with the letter T?

Second: How many seconds are there in a year?

Third: What is God's first name?"

Forrest leaves to think the questions over. He returns the next day and sees St. Peter who waves him up and says, "Now that you have had a chance to think the questions over, tell me your answers."

Forrest says, "Well, the first one -- which two days in the week begin with the letter "T"? Shucks, that one's easy. That'd be Today and Tomorrow.

The Saint's eyes open wide and he exclaims, "Forrest, that's not what I was thinking, but you do have a point, and I guess I didn't specify, so I'll give you credit for that answer. How about the next one?" asks St. Peter.

"How many seconds in a year?"

"Now that one's harder," says Forrest, "but I thunk and thunk about that a nod I guess the only answer can be twelve." Astounded, St. Peter says, "Twelve? Twelve!? Forrest, how in Heaven's name could you come up with twelve seconds in a year?"

Forrest says "Shucks, there's gotta be twelve: January 2nd, February 2nd, March 2nd.."

"Hold it, " interrupts St. Peter. "I see where you're going with this, and I see your point, though that wasn't quite what I had in mind. But I'll have to give you credit for that one, too.

Let's go on with the third and final question. Can you tell me God's first name"? "Sure" Forrest replied, "its Andy." "Andy?!" exclaimed an exasperated and frustrated St. Peter. "OK, I can understand how you came up with your answers to my first two questions, but just how in the world did you come up with the name Andy as the first name of God?"

"Shucks, that was the easiest one of all," Forrest replied. "I learnt it from the song. . "ANDY WALKS WITH ME, ANDY TALKS WITH ME, ANDY TELLS ME I AM HIS OWN. . . "

St. Peter opened the Pearly Gates and said: "Run Forrest, run."

Penne alla Norma

Legend has it that this recipe was created as a tribute to the opera "Norma"; composed by Vincenzo Bellini, who was from Sicily, where this dish originated.

Note: Crushed red pepper adds spice to this dish. Vary the amount according to taste.

Prep: 20 minutes
Total: 20 minutes


Ingredients:
1 pound penne rigate
Coarse salt and ground pepper
4 tablespoons olive oil
1 medium onion, halved and thinly sliced
4 garlic cloves, thinly sliced
1/4 teaspoon crushed red pepper
1 large eggplant, cut into 3/4-inch chunks
1 1/2 pounds plum tomatoes, cored and cut into 1/2-inch chunks
2 tablespoons tomato paste
1/2 cup torn fresh basil, plus more for garnish
3/4 cup ricotta cheese

Directions:
Cook pasta in a large pot of boiling salted water until al dente, according to package instructions. Drain pasta; return to pot.

Heat oil in a large skillet over medium heat. Add onion, garlic, and crushed red pepper; cook, stirring, until softened, about 5 minutes.

Add eggplant to skillet; season generously with salt and pepper. Cover, and cook until eggplant begins to release juices, about 5 minutes. Uncover; cook, stirring, until tender, 3 to 4 minutes (if bottom of pan browns too much, add a few tablespoons water, and scrape with spoon).

Add tomatoes, tomato paste, and 1/4 cup water to skillet; cook, stirring, until softened, about 5 minutes.

Toss sauce and basil with pasta; gently reheat if necessary. Top each serving with a spoonful of ricotta, and garnish with more basil.

Macaroni and Cheese

Ingredients:
Coarse salt and ground pepper

1 pound elbow pasta, cooked and drained

4 tablespoons butter

1 small onion, chopped

1/4 cup all-purpose flour, (spooned and leveled)

4 cups milk

1/8 teaspoon cayenne pepper, (optional)

1 1/4 cups shredded yellow cheddar cheese (5 ounces)

1 1/4 cups shredded white cheddar cheese (5 ounces)

8 ounces ham, diced into 1/2-inch pieces

2 slices white sandwich bread

Directions:
Preheat oven to 375 degrees. Cook pasta, and drain; reserve. Meanwhile, in a 5-quart heavy pot, melt butter over medium heat. Add onion; cook, stirring occasionally, until softened, 3 to 5 minutes. Whisk in flour to coat onion. In a slow steady stream, whisk in milk until there are no lumps.

Cook, whisking often, until mixture is thick and bubbly and coats the back of a wooden spoon, 6 to 8 minutes. Stir in cayenne, if using, and 1 cup each yellow and white cheddar cheese. Season with 1 teaspoon salt and 1/4 teaspoon pepper.

Toss pasta with cheese mixture; fold in ham. Transfer to a 9-by-13-inch baking dish or individual dishes. Set aside.

In a food processor, pulse bread until large crumbs form. Toss together with remaining 1/4 cup each white and yellow cheddar, and 1/4 teaspoon salt. Top pasta with breadcrumb mixture. Bake until top is golden, about 30 minutes.

Note: This recipe makes enough to fill eight 12-to-16-ounce baking dishes. Divide the macaroni and cheese evenly, sprinkle with topping, and bake for 15 to 20 minutes, until golden.

Yema Balls

Ingredients:
3 egg yolks
180 g condensed milk
120 g mashed potato
1 tablespoon plain flour
1 teaspoon vanilla essence
1 tablespoon butter
1/8 teaspoon salt
Sugar Glaze:

100 g sugar
60 ml water
1/8 teaspoon cream of tartar


Directions:
Combine all the ingredients and cook in a double boiler, stirring frequently, until the mixture thickens - about 15 minutes. Set aside to cool (may be refrigerated for 30 minutes to 1 hour) and roll into 2.5 cm diameter balls. For the sugar glaze, combine the ingredients in a saucepan and bring to a boil. Cook until syrup is lightly caramelized. Dip the Yema balls into the syrup and set aside to cool before wrapping in colored cellophane paper

Mango Chocolate Cream Cups

Ingredients:
300 g bittersweet chocolate melted
6 med ripe mangoes peeled
2 tbsps lime juice
1 170 g-can Nestle Cream
1 tbsps unflavored gelatin dissolved in
1/4 cup gold water
mint leaves for garnish


Directions:
Line muffin tins with corrugated paper cups. Spoon 1-1/2 tbsps melted chocolate around base and sides. Allow to set in refrigerator.
Puree mangoes, lime juice and cream. Soften gelatin and heat until dissolved; whisk into mango mixture. Spoon into set chocolate cups. Chill overnight until firm. Garnish with mint leaves if desired.

Mango Cream Cake Recipe

1/2 cup butter
1/2-3/4 cup sugar, depending how sweet u want it
1/2-3/4 cup powdered milk
1 (170 g) container cream
2-3 big ripe mangoes, 2 chopped and 1 sliced,for garnish
24 lady fingers (not the ones from live ladies)
maraschino cherry, if desired

1. Blend the first 5 ingredients (except mango slices) to make mango cream mixture.

2. Lay lady fingers on a 9x9 inch dish or pan.

3. Top with mango cream mixture.

4. Lay second layers of ladyfingers.

5. Repeat process.

6. Garnish with mango slices and cherries.

7. Refrigerate for 5-6 hours or overnight to set.

choices

John is the kind of guy you love to hate. He is

Always in a good mood and always has something
positive to say. When someone would ask him how he was doing, he would
reply, "If I were any better, I would be twins!"



He was a natural motivator.



If an employee was having a bad day, John was
there telling the employee how to look on the positive side of the
situation.





Seeing this style really made me curious, so one
day I went up and asked him, "I don't get it!




You can't be a positive person all of the time.
How do you do it?"





He replied, "Each morning I wake up

And say to myself, you have two choices today.
You can choose to be in a good mood or ... You can choose to be in a bad
mood.




I choose to be in a good mood."




Each time something bad happens, I can choose to
be a victim or...I can choose to learn from it. I choose to learn from
it.




Every time someone comes to me complaining, I
can choose to accept their complaining or... I can point out the
positive side of life. I choose the positive side of life.




"Yeah, right, it's not that easy," I protested.





"Yes, it is," he said. "Life is all about
choices. When you cut away all the junk, every situation is a choice.
You choose how you react to situations. You choose how people affect
your mood.



You choose to be in a good mood or bad mood. The
bottom line: It's your choice how you live your life."




I reflected on what he said. Soon hereafter, I
left the Tower Industry to start my own business. We lost touch, but I
often thought about him when I made a choice about life instead of
reacting to it.



Several years

Later, I heard that he was involved in a serious
accident, falling some 60 feet from a communications tower.



After 18 hours of surgery and weeks of intensive
care, he was released from the hospital with rods placed in his back.


I saw him

About six months after the accident.



!



When I asked him how he was, he replied, "If I
were any better, I'd be twins. Wanna see my scars?"




I declined to see his wounds, but I did ask him
what had gone through his mind as the accident took place.




"The first thing that went through my mind was
the well-being of my soon-to-be born daughter," he replied! D. "Then, as
I lay on the ground, I remembered that I had two choices: I could choose
to live or...I could choose to die. I chose to live."




"Weren't you scared? Did you lose
consciousness?" I asked.




He continued, "..the paramedics were great.




They kept telling me I was going to be fine. But
when they wheeled me into the ER and I saw the expressions on the faces
of the doctors and nurses, I got really scared. In their eyes, I read
'he's a dead man'. I knew I needed to take action."




"What did you do?" I asked.



"Well, there was a big burly nurse shouting
questions at me," said John. "She asked if I was allergic to anything.
'Yes, I replied.' The doctors and nurses stopped working as they waited
for my reply. I took a deep breath and yelled, 'Gravity'."




Over their laughter, I told them, "I am choosing
to live. Operate on me as if I am alive, not dead."




He lived, thanks to the skill of his doctors,
but also because of his amazing attitude... I learned from him that
every day we have the choice to live fully.



Attitude, after all, is everything.




Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for
tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its
own." Matthew 6:34.



After all today is the tomorrow you worried
about yesterday.

Question: What is the truest definition of Globalization?

Answer: Princess Diana's death.

Question: How come?

Answer: An English princess

with an Egyptian boyfriend

crashes in a French tunnel,

driving a German car

with a Dutch engine,

driven by a Belgian who was drunk

on Scottish whisky, (check the bottle before you change the
spelling)

followed closely by Italian Paparazzi,

on Japanese motorcycles;

treated by an American doctor,

using Brazilian medicines.



This is sent to you by an African,

using Bill Gates's - (an American) technology

and you're probably reading this on your computer, that use Taiwanese
chips,

and a Korean monitor,

assembled by Bangladeshi workers

in a Singaporean plant,

transported by Indian

lousy-drivers,

hijacked by Indonesians,

unloaded by Sicilian longshoremen,

and trucked to you by Mexicans

..and now being read by a Filipino who should be working instead!



That, my friend, is Globalization.

WHY I FIRED MY SECRETARY...



LAST WEEK WAS MY BIRTHDAY AND I DIDN'T FEEL VERY WELL WAKING UP THAT MORNING.


I WENT DOWNSTAIRS FOR BREAKFAST HOPING MY WIFE WOULD BE PLEASANT AND SAY,
"HAPPY BIRTHDAY!", AND POSSIBLY HAVE A PRESENT FOR ME.



AS IT TURNED OUT, SHE BARELY SAID GOOD MORNING, LET ALONE "HAPPY BIRTHDAY."



I THOUGHT... WELL, THAT'S MARRIAGE FOR YOU, BUT THE KIDS WILL REMEMBER.



MY KIDS CAME INTO BREAKFAST AND DIDN'T SAY A WORD. SO WHEN I LEFT FOR THE
OFFICE, I WAS FEELING PRETTY LOW AND SOMEWHAT DESPONDENT.



AS I WALKED INTO MY OFFICE, MY SECRETARY JANE SAID, "GOOD MORNING, BOSS, HAPPY BIRTHDAY!"


IT FELT A LITTLE BETTER THAT AT LEAST SOMEONE HAD REMEMBERED.



I WORKED UNTIL ONE O'CLOCK AND THEN JANE KNOCKED ON MY DOOR AND SAID, "YOU KNOW, IT'S SUCH A BEAUTIFUL DAY OUTSIDE, AND IT'S YOUR BIRTHDAY, LET'S GO OUT TO LUNCH, JUST YOU AND ME."



I SAID, "THANKS JANE, THAT'S THE GREATEST THING I'VE HEARD ALL DAY. LET'S GO!"



WE WENT TO LUNCH. BUT WE DIDN'T GO WHERE WE NORMALLY WOULD GO.



WE DINED INSTEAD AT A LITTLE PLACE WITH A PRIVATE TABLE. WE HAD TWO MARTINIS EACH AND I ENJOYED THE MEAL TREMENDOUSLY ON THE WAY BACK TO THE OFFICE, JANE SAID, "YOU KNOW, IT'S SUCH A BEAUTIFUL DAY... WE DON'T NEED TO GO BACK TO THE OFFICE, DO WE?"



I RESPONDED, "I GUESS NOT. WHAT DO YOU HAVE IN MIND?"



SHE SAID, "LET'S GO TO MY APARTMENT."



AFTER ARRIVING AT HER APARTMENT JANE TURNED TO ME AND SAID, "BOSS, IF YOU DON'T MIND, I'M GOING TO STEP INTO THE BEDROOM FOR A MOMENT. I'LL BE RIGHT BACK."



"OK." I NERVOUSLY REPLIED.



SHE WENT INTO THE BEDROOM AND, AFTER A COUPLE OF MINUTES, SHE CAME OUT CARRYING A HUGE BIRTHDAY CAKE... FOLLOWED BY MY WIFE, KIDS, AND DOZENS OF MY FRIENDS AND CO-WORKERS, ALL SINGING "HAPPY BIRTHDAY".



AND I JUST SAT THERE...


ON THE COUCH...



NAKED.

MAASIKASONG ASAWA

Dalawang linggo na ang nakalipas mula nang ikasal sina Gino at Karen.

Kahit mahal na mahal ni Gino ang kanyang misis, nasasabik din siyang makipag-inuman sa kanyang mga kumpare.

Isang gabi, nagpaalam si Gino kay Karen, "Honey, aalis ako ha, babalik kaagad ako..."

"Sweetheart, saan ka pupunta?" tanong ni Karen.

"Sa bar, cutiepie, iinom lang ako ng beer." saad ni Gino.

"Gusto mo ng beer, love? Eto..." hirit ni Karen sabay bukas ng refrigerator at ipinakita ang 25 na iba't ibang klase ng beer na puro imported.

Hindi malaman ni Gino kung ano ang gagawin.

Ang sabi na lang niya, "Oo, cutiepie, pero doon sa bar... alam mo na... yung malamig na glass..."

Hindi pa tapos magsalita si Gino, eh, buong lambing na nagsalita na si Karen, "Gusto mong malamig na glass, sweetheart? Eto..."

Binuksan ni Karen ang freezer at naglabas s'ya ngisang malaki at malamig na glass, sobrang lamig at nangangatog pa siya sa pagkakahawak.

Medyo namumutla na si Gino, na ang nasabi eh, "Oo nga cutie pie, Pero sa bar ang daming masasarap na pulutan... sandaling-sandali lang ako talaga. Babalik kaagad ako, okey?"

"Gusto mo ng pulutan, sweetheart?" malambing pa ringusisa ni Karen, na binuksan ang oven at naglabas ng iba-ibang klase ng pulutan - sisig, chicken wings, chicharong bulaklak, crispy pata, inihaw na bangus, camaron rebosado, hotdog with onion, kaldereta at iba pa."

Pero cutie pie... sa bar... you know, merong konting biruan, bolahan, murahan... you know..." alumpihit na sabi ni Gino.

Hindi na nakapagpigil si Karen, "Gusto Mo Ng Murahan Sweetheart?

....

...

TANGINA MO PALA EH! HETO, INUMIN MO ITONG PUTANG INANG BEER MOSA MALAMIG NA BWAKANAN NG INANG BASO NA ITO, AT KAININ MO 'YANG PUKI NANG INANG PULUTAN NA 'YAN DAHIL HINDI KA LALABAS NG BAHAY! ULOL! 'TANG INANG 'TO"

Filipino excuse letters

These are excuse notes from parents (including original spelling)collected by schools from all over the country.

1. My son is under a doctors care and should not take P.E. today.Please execute him.
(Hala! Sige. Silya elektrika at bitay. Sabay pa! O kaya niyo yun?)

2. Please excuse Lisa for being absent. She was sick and I had her shot.
(Pag nag-absent pala papatayin ka...siyet! Baka may rabies...)

3. Dear School : Please ekscuse John being absent on Jan. 28, 29, 30, 31, 32, and also 33.
( Aba grabe to. Nasa kalendaryo pa ang birthday ko kung ganon. Hahaha!)

4. Please excuse Gloria from Jim today. She is administrating.
(Ano daw???? )

5. Please excuse Roland from P.E. for a few days. Yesterday he fell out of a tree and misplaced his hip.
(Hanapin natin!)

6. John has been absent because he had two teeth taken out of his face.
(Bwehehehe... la ako masabi... Bwahahaha! Ganito kasi yan. Kinagat siya ni Lola sa noo sa gigil. Tapos nabali yung ngipin ng pustiso niya. Hahaha!!! )

7. Megan could not come to school today because she has been bothered by very close veins.
(Buti pa veins niya. Close sila. Hahahaha!!!)

8. Chris will not be in school cus he has an acre in his side.

9. Please excuse Ray Friday from school. He has very loose vowels.
(Aah.....eh....i.....ow....u....)

10. Please excuse Pedro from being absent yesterday. He had(diahre)(dyrea)(direathe) the shits. [words in ()s were crossed out.]
(Sinabi na kasi LBM na lang e. Pasosyal pa kasi.)

11. Irving was absent yesterday because he missed his bust.
(So transsexual pala si Irving ?)

12. I kept Billie home because she had to go Christmas shopping because I dont know what size she wear.

13. Sally wont be in school a week from Friday. We have to attend her funeral.
(Ala e! Mabuhay ang Patay!! Mayroong Himala!!!)

14. Please excuse Jason for being absent yesterday. He had a cold and could not breed well.
(Stud service ba yung school nya? baka gremlins siya.)

15. Gloria was absent yesterday as she was having a gangover.
(Ay grabe! Iba na talaga ang mga kabataan ngayon. Hahaha!)

16. Maryann was absent December 11-16, because she had a fever, sore throat, headache and upset stomach. Her sister was also sick, fever and sore throat, her brother had a low grade fever and ached all over. I wasnt the best either, sore throat and fever. There must be something going around, her father even got hot last night.
(Hahaha, telenovela... bow. Makuwento siya ha... Kulang lang sapansin...)

17. Please excuse Jennifer for missing school yesterday. We forgot to get the Sunday paper off the porch, and when we found it Monday, we thought it was Sunday.
(Winner to!!!!!!!!!! Anggaling!!!! Puwede rin kaya sa office ito?)

INDIAN NAMES

A little Indian boy asked his father, the big chief and witch doctor ofthe tribe, "Papa, why is it that we always have long names, while thewhite men have shorter names - Bill , Tex or Sam, for example?"

His father replied, "Look, son, our names represent a symbol, a sign, ora poem for our culture not like the white men, who live all together andrepeat their names from generation to generation. Also, it is part ofour makeup that in spite of everything, we survive.

For example, your sister's name is Small Romantic Moon Over The Lake, because on the night she was born, there was a beautiful moon reflected in the lake.

Then there's your brother, Big White Horse of the Prairies, because hewas born on a day that the big white horse who gallops over the prairiesof the world appeared near our camp and is a symbol of our capacity tolive and the life force of our people. It's very simple and easy to understand.











Do you have any other questions, Little Broken Condom Made in China ?

GEOGRAPHY OF WOMEN & MEN

GEOGRAPHY OF WOMEN
Between 18 and 22, a woman is like Africa, half-discovered, half-wild, naturally beautiful with fertile soil.

Between 23 and 30, a woman is like America, well developed and open to trade, especially for someone with cash.

Between 31 and 35, a woman is like India, very hot, relaxed and convinced of her own beauty.

Between 36 and 40, a woman is like France, gently aging but still warm and a desirable place to visit.

Between 41 and 50, a woman is like Great Britain, with a glorious and all conquering past.

Between 51 and 60, a woman is like Yugoslavia, lost the war and haunted by past mistakes.

Between 61 and 70, a woman is like Russia, very wide with borders now unpatrolled.

After 70, she becomes Tibet. Wildly beautiful, with a mysterious past and the wisdom of the ages....only those with an adventurous spirit and a thirst for spiritual knowledge visit there.


GEOGRAPHY OF MEN
Between 1 and 70, a man is like Iraq. Ruled by a dick.

A Test of Morals

This test only has one question, but it's a very important one. By giving an honest answer, you will discover where you stand morally. The test features an unlikely, completely fictional situation in which you will have to make a decision. Remember that your answer needs to be honest, yet spontaneous.
Please read slowly and give due consideration to each line.
You are in Manila - walking along the Pasig River to be specific. There is chaos all around you caused by a typhoon with severe flooding. This is a flood of biblical proportions. You are a photojournalist working for a major newspaper, and you're caught in the middle of this epic disaster.
The situation is nearly hopeless! You're trying to shoot career-making photos. There are houses and people swirling around you, some disappearing under the water. Nature is unleashing all of its destructive fury. Suddenly, you see a woman floundering in the water. She is fighting for her life, trying not to be taken down with the debris. You move closer ... and discover that somehow, the woman looks familiar. You suddenly realize who it is. It's Gloria Macapagal Arroyo! At the same time, you notice that the raging waters are about to pull her under.
You have two options: You can save the life of GMA, or you can shoot a dramatic Pulitzer Prize-winning photo, documenting the death of one of the world's most powerful women.
So here's the question, and please give an honest answer:














Would you select high-contrast color film, or would you go with the classic simplicity of black and white?

wise words to live by

Q: I've heard that cardiovascular exercise can prolong life; is this true?
A: Your heart is only good for so many beats, and that's it... don't waste them on exercise. Everything wears out eventually. Speeding up your heart will not make you live longer; that's like saying you can extend the life of your car by driving it faster. Want to live longer? Take a nap.

Q: Should I cut down on meat and eat more fruits and vegetables?
A: You must grasp logistical efficiencies. What does a cow eat? Hay and corn. And what are these? Vegetables. So a steak is nothing more than an efficient mechanism of delivering vegetables to your system. Need grain? Eat chicken. Beef is also a good source of field grass (green leafy vegetable). And a pork chop can give you 100% of your recommended daily allowance of vegetable products.

Q: Should I reduce my alcohol intake?
A: No, not at all. Wine is made from fruit. Brandy is distilled wine, that means they take the water out of the fruity bit so you get even more of the goodness that way. Beer is also made out of grain. Bottoms up!

Q: How can I calculate my body/fat ratio?
A: Well, if you have a body and you have fat, your ratio is one to one. If you have two bodies, your ratio is two to one, etc.

Q: What are some of the advantages of participating in a regular exercise program?
A: Can't think of a single one, sorry. My philosophy is: No Pain...Good!

Q: Aren't fried foods bad for you?
A: YOU'RE NOT LISTENING!!!. Foods are fried these days in vegetable oil. In fact, they're permeated in it. How could getting more vegetables be bad for you?

Q: Will sit-ups help prevent me from getting a little soft around the middle?
A: Definitely not! When you exercise a muscle, it gets bigger. You should only be doing sit-ups if you want a bigger stomach.

Q: Is chocolate bad for me?
A: Are you crazy? HELLO ...... Cocoa beans! Another vegetable!!! It's the best feel-good food around!

Q: Is swimming good for your figure?
A: If swimming is good for your figure, explain whales to me.

Q: Is getting in-shape important for my lifestyle?
A: Hey! 'Round' is a shape!

Well, I hope this has cleared up any misconceptions you may have had about food and diets.
And remember: "Life should NOT be a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving safely in an attractive and well preserved body, but rather to skid in sideways - Chardonnay in one hand - chocolate in the other - body thoroughly used up, totally worn out, and screaming "WOO HOO, What a Ride!"

TERMINOLOGY : Restaurant Menu 2009

TAPSILOG - Tapa, Sinangag, Itlog

LONGSILOG - Longganisa, Sinangag, Itlog

HOTSILOG - Hotdog, Sinangag, Itlog

PORKSILOG - Baboy, Sinangag, Itlog

CHICKSILOG - Chicken Sinangag Itlog

AZUCARERA - Adobong Aso

LUGLOG - Lugaw, Itlog

PAKAPLOG - Pandesal, Kape, Itlog

KALOG - Kanin, Itlog

PAKALOG - Pandesal, Kanin, Itlog

MAALOG NA BETLOG - Maalat na Itlog, Pakbet, Itlog

BAHAW - kaning lamig ito... pero may nagtinda, Bakang Inihaw

KALKAL - Kalderetang Kalabaw

HIMAS - Hipon Malasado

HIMAS SUSO - Hipon Malasado, Sugpo, Keso

HIMAS PEKPEK - Hipon Malasado, Kropek, Pinekpek'n

PEKPEK MONG MALAKI - Kropek, Pinekpek'n, Monggo, Malasado, Laing, Kilawin

DILA - Dinuguan, Laing

DILAAN MO - Dinuguan, Laing, Dalandan, Molo

BOKA BOKA - Bopis, Kanin, Bokayo, Kape

BOKA BOKA MO PA - Bopis, Kanin, Bokayo, Kape, Molong Pancit

KANTOT - Kanin, Tortang Talong

KANTOT PA - Kanin, Tortang Talong, Pancit

SIGE KANTOT PA - Sinigang na Pige, Kanin, Tortang Talong, Pancit

SIGE KANTOT PA IBAON MO - Sinigang na Pige, Kanin, Tortang Talong, Pancit...Take out

SIGE KANTOT PA HA - Sinigang na Pige, Kanin, Tortang Talong, Pancit, Halo-halo

SIGE KANTOT PAIBAON MO PAPA - Sinigang na Pige, Kanin, Tortang Talong, Pancit... Take
out w/ Ketchup

PAKANTOT - Pandesal, Kanin, Tortang Talong

PAPAKANTOT - Papaitan, Kanin, Tortang Talong

PAPAKANTOT KA BA - Papaitan, Kanin, Tortang Talong, Kapeng Barako

PAKANTOT SA YO - Pandesal, Kanin, Tortang Talong, Saging... + Yosi

PAKANTOT KA - Pandesal, Kanin, Tortang Talong, Kape

PAKANTOT KA HABANG MATIGAS PA -Pandesal, Kanin, Tortang Talong, Kape, Inihaw
na Bangus, Maruya, Tinola, Ginisang Aso, Pancit

SUBO - Sugpo, Bopis

SUBO MO - Sugpo, Bopis, Molo

SUBO MO PA - Sugpo, Bopis, Molo, Pancit

SUBO MO PA MAIGE - Sugpo, Bopis, Molo, Mais, Pige

SUBO MO TITE KO - Sugpo, Bopis, Tinola, Teryaki, Kochinta

SUBO MO TITE KO BILIS! - Sugpo, Bopis, Tinola Teryaki, Kochinta, Bihon, Tawilis

SUBO MO TITE KO BILIS, HAYOP! - ...same as above, minura mo lang yung waiter kasi ang
tagal ng order...



MASAYANG MASAYA KA NOH???!!!!

Friends Forever!

Friend: calls your parents by mr. and mrs.
Best friend: calls your parents dad & mom or tito & tita.

Friend: has never seen you cry
Best friend: has always has the best shoulder to cry on

Friend: never asks for anything to eat or drink
Best friend: opens the fridge & makes herself at home

Friend: asks you to write down your number.
Best friend: they ask you for their number (cuz they can't remember it)

Friend: borrows your stuff for a few days then gives it back.
Best friend: has a closet full of your stuff

Friend: only knows a few things about you
Best friend: could write a biography on your life story

Friend : will leave you behind if that is what the crowd is doing
Best friend: will always go with you

Friend: will ask where you've been (after going AWOL)
Best Friend: will say MISS YOU & goes on being your friend

another quote

IMAGINATION

is

a

quality

given

to

man

to

compensate

what

he

is

not,

and

a

SENSE

OF

HUMOR

was

provided

to

console

him

for

what

he

is...